Lets go back to a simpler time, rose lovers. A time when you could go to the grocery store without wearing a mask and gloves. A time when something called two-factor authentication did not exist. Credit: ABC Find out whats inside… onThe Bachelor! Yep, its time for the exotic overnight dates. This is the place where I could make a mistake. ABC You meananothermistake, right Alex?Right? 1:Amanda Location:New York City...

I trust you all had a pleasant holiday weekend. Have fun guys, he says, glowering. Unfortunately, by the end of the night, well learn how deep this dudes rage actually runs. Credit: Adam Larkey/ABC The party starts at the pool, natch. Captain Douchebag keeps his obnoxious salutations streak alive, greeting the Bachelorette with, Whats up, little hottie? (Just to clarify again, guys: Jillian is a person, not an object. The first team to correctly follow the clues to Jillians secret location wins a prize: Jillian herself!...

(Wait onlypartof her hopes that?) Finally, Michael gets a one-on-one date! But wait why am I getting so excited? Credit: ABC Plus he screams a little too much. But Michael has no doubt that hes a contender. While the date card said Come fly with me, for once the outing does not involve a helicopter. Instead, the Bachelorette is taking the break dancer on a zip-line adventure. A hug = future rejection....

Im talking, of course, aboutThe Men Tell Allspecial. For one thing,MTAis Harrisons time to shine. Finally, it means were just one week away from the big finale! Credit: Kevin Foley/ABC In the meantime, lets relive the highlights from tonights filler-tastic extravaganza. Okay, yeah thats it. Oh boy, once again it seems Kippers in the lead. Oh look, Dumb and Dumber are back! It was definitely tough on me. Now theyve been together for six months, he adds, and things couldnt be any better....

In happier news, Ed’s back!! Watching the last few episodes ofThe Bacheloretteis a lot like being chauffeured around byToonces the Driving Cat. Everything seems to be going smoothly, and then all of a sudden LOOK OUT!! Credit: ABC Jillian steers her car off of an emotional cliff. This week, my dear friends, was no exception. Its hometown week, and first, Jillians off to Philadelphia to see Reid. but shes also nervous: Are Reids parents going to like me, are they going to approve?...

Isnt that how it goes? To paraphrase another movie musical, Ding dong, the wicked dk is dead! The episode starts with a lot of filler. Credit: ABC Kiptyn gets the first date. (Of course he does.) She and Kipper take a walk through the park, a place of culture and excitement. And she does NOT love it. Would you normally get engaged this quick? But its about…taking a leap of faith....

Lets review, shall we? Or maybe not Im fairly certain shes said that about 2/3 of the remaining men. (Seriously, the producers must get some kind of bulk rate on whirlybird rentals.) Credit: ABC he screams.I would say Im more spontaneous than adventurous, he tells the camera. Ive never done anything like this. Ive never even heard of it. I dont even know if its legal. That said, Ed really had nothing to worry about....

Anyone who says differently is selling something. I think thats where I can really shine and I can really, really come out of my skin. Oh, Jakey-poo, how little you know our Bachelorette. Credit: Kevin Foley/ABC God, I hope they bathed in Purell before making dinner. Ive never had that dream, but then again, I havent been a girl for about 18 years. And she LOVES it. Do I even need to tell you that Kipper gets a rose?...

He arrived bearing far fewer gifts and sweaty palms, but he did have a haircut! He also told DeAnna that he thinks Jason is more heartfelt than Jesse when he says he loves DeAnna. Lucky for Jesse, he got another chance with Dad. DeAnna invited both of the Js together (shocking!) (D.tipped him off; I justknowit.) The sure sign dad wasnt totally against having a snowboarding son-in-law? They exchanged nugs after a hug....

Have we all recovered from the emotional holocaust that wasThe Great Melissa-Mesnick-Molly Scandal of Early Aught Nine? (Hmmmm, I wonder what those crazy kids Molly and Jason are up to now. Probably getting used to the fact thatno one cares about them anymore.) Credit: Adam Larkey/ABC So lets get this party started, shall we? When I got back home from Vancouver, I felt defeated, she says. It took me weeks to sort of get back on my feet....

Sometimes,The BachelorandThe Bacheloretteare all about delayed gratification. (Lookin at you, To Be Continued end cards!) Even though no one (meaning Luke) got punched, it was still very satisfying. Credit: John Fleenor/ABC And then we got a fullMen Tell Allepisode on top of it! Occasionally, life in Bachelor Nation is good. As each of the final men arrive, we get a picture-in-picture shot of theMTAaudience applauding ecstatically. ABC (Tyler wins the applause-o-meter....

The latest teaser for Clare Crawley’s season features some disgruntled suitors. ABC and producers continue to troll Bachelor Nation with their latest promo forThe Bachelorette. Likelast month’s tease, this exclusive new promo hints at the drama with cheeky cutaways. ABC Let’s dissect: The first man we see? Is the promo department coyly confirming the rumors or just toying with us? We also get glimpses of some disgruntled suitors: “Can we get a new Bachelorette in here?...

And were back, rose lovers! As youll recall, when we left offlast week, Hannah had summoned the Lukes to another room. I just want to hear you both talk to each other about this, she says. ABC Our Bachelorette needs clarity, yall! Lets listen in… Yeah, were not really getting anywhere. The Bachelorette listens for a bit, discouraged and disgusted, and then gets up and walks out. ABC Even after shes gone, the Lukes keep bickering… until Harrison arrives with a grim announcement....