Five (and only five) words for you: Adam deserves this.
I mean, whats next?
Rachel Alexandra giving Mine That Bird some room on the rail to pass her in the Belmont stretch?
Credit: Kevin Winter/American Idol/Getty Images; Ray Mickshaw/Fox(3)
Federer handing a Wimbledon title to Nadal?
Coke and Pepsi swapping cola recipes?
(Welcome to the fullIdolexperience, Mom!)
Kris is the least-worthy Idol winner ever!
The screecher went down in flames!
The Christians voted for Kris!
The homophobes voted against Adam!
Okay, Im being a little coy there, but I also speak the truth!)
The point is, these guys clearly like and respect one another.
(More on that and other egregious snubs in just a moment.)
To which I say WHAT?
It is in honor of her beast of a composition, then, that I write this weeksIdol-themed ditty.
Click here if you want a little musical accompaniment!
NEXT PAGE: Trust Miss Jody Watley: Kris Allen is a terrificIdolwinner
- scripts, feel free to skip this section.
And no, thats not a dis against Adam Lambert.
Nor is it my attempt to put Kris Allen on the same level as Carpenter or Lennon or Badu.
If thats not an Idol-worthy resume, then my iPod has been badly duped, people!
(Yes, of course, the Slow Ride duet with Allison is also more than acceptable.)
NEXT PAGE: Allison!
Also, hello, ALLISON IRAHETA DUETING WITH CYNDI LAUPER!
(End of fanboy rant.)
(Until said rant gets picked back up in the excerpt from my liveblog below.)
You want to pit your Auto-Tuned R&B crooner against Anoop Desai?
You think Katy Perry can hold her own against Allison Iraheta without the help of a backing track?
Not gonna happen.
The total absence of Scott MacIntyre.C.
Fergie, Rod Stewart, and the Black Eyed Peas treating our beloved Idols like very temporary backup singers.D.
NEXT PAGE: Best of the live blog got any Allison Red hair dye?
And now for a few highlights of last nights live-blog.
(Or read it in its entirety here.)
8:10 So What by the top 13.
(Wasnt this just on the DWTS performance finale on Monday?
Id like to be getting the royalties checks on that!)
8:11 Is this 100% live?
Lets check Jorges lips, because boyfriend cannot lip-synch to save his life.
Yep this is live.
8:15 David Cook is here with Permanent.
How many singles is dude working simultaneously?
I like hearing Davids voice on something stripped-down and melodic.
Just when you think theyre gone, they come back, like rhythm-less fire ants.
8:34 Anoop singing Im Yours.
Happiness is an awesome duet.
Lets hope Jason Mraz gives these two underrated Idols their time at the mic.
8:35 Anoop, thats a KILLER jacket, and I covet it.
You better Tweet me what the brand is, sir!
8:38 Kris Allen and Nicole Kidmans husband duet on Kiss A Girl.
How come I never think of Kris as country?
Although I bet hed sell a gugillion records if he went that route.
8:39 Note to Simon…Kris is showing you how to do the unbuttoned dress shirt thing, aiight?
8:56 Now that Bikini Girl is singing, its just getting depressing.
You better hit those notes, fourth judge!
You cant suck at judging, songwriting, and singing all in the same week.
Okay, not bad.
She was almost having a moment till the dress popped open.
Now were back to depressing.
Future legend + living legend = Me having heart palpitations.
ALLISON YOU SOUND A-MAH-ZING.
AND I CANT STOP THIS ALL-CAPS BUSINESS.
Put this down in the top five moments of season 8.
Seems a little cold to saddle him with a David Cook anthem, but he sounds pretty good tonight.
And cue Lionel Richie!
Oh and whats THIS theyre singing?
Can we go back to Hello?
And can we bring Cookie and his gee-tar back out?
9:09 Literally, fiesta forever.
9:17 A KISS ballad.
Eyeliner that looks like its made from shards of glass.
And now weve got KISS themselves in full battle makeup.
Clearly the warm and cozy voting portion of the competition has come to an end.
And I gotta say, Adam sounds absolutely at home, and flawless.
This is all kinds of awesome.
AND A GUITAR IS BEING SMASHED ON THE IDOL STAGE.
Tongues out, beeotches.
Fun for the whole family…at least at Casa Slezak.
9:31 Michael Sarver, Megan Joy, and Steve Martin doing bluegrass.
Really about 76 times better than Id expected.
9:39 Michael Sarver and Danny Gokey kicking off Do Ya Think Im Sexy.
Oh boys, no, not even in the Godly way.
(Yeah, Im couldnt resist referencing that hein MySpace video earlier in the week.)
9:40 Who wants to start a petition?
No guest performers on Idol finales unless theyre directly dueting with/engaging at least one of the finalists!
9:52 WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!
Anyone who says Kris has a weak voice did not hear the opening bars of this song.
Also: Im loving being able to love these two guys loving each other.
10:01 The man from Telescope declares a world record.
I dont know what that means but he has a British accent so it must be true.
10:03 Show of hands: Who just crapped their pants?
10:04 How cute is Allison pushing Adam to center stage.
And how happy is Adam that at least he doesnt have to sing No Boundaries.
10:05 This song doesnt sound quite as bad as it did last night.
Kris falls off the platform.
And cue the confetti shower!
10:06 Kris crying into his wifes shoulder.
10:07 Wait a second.
I have to dye my hair tomorrow.
I am gonna look so ridiculous with Iraheta red on my thinning locks.
