Now the formerMADtvstar has stuffed some of the best ones into a memoir,Too Fat to Fish.

People can relate to screwing up, he says, because most people screw up.

I have a million of those.

Artie Lange

And people would tell me I should write a book.

You must have enough stories left over for a sequel.I do.

The money was right, so Ill be writing it this year.

And more drunken tales I have enough of them.

You have a title yet?I gotta think that one out.

Your drug and alcohol problems are legendary.

[Laughs] Like today.

I worked, and Im tired.

I could jog, or I could have a pizza.

And I just think Im neurotic.

I wish I was this dark genius artist like Richard Pryor or something.

I would never do anything that fruity, but I can relate to that.

I wish I was as great as other guys, and that sucks.

So I get the blues, and I self-medicate.