The love-triangle drama proves to be too much for one Bachelor in Paradise contestant.
Anyhow, lets recap.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS
Nicole and Clay and Angela:Nothing can ruin what we have, gushes Nicole about Clay.
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Oh gurl, now look and see what you did.
This is gonna get real awkward, announces Haley helpfully.
Just be strong, just be confident, she tells him.
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Get your head in the game.
Youre stronger, shes weak.
Literally, shes like one pound.
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She has no body mass.
Internally, though, Nicole is bummed that Clay seems so upset by Angelas arrival.
He clearly is disturbed and shooken up, she reports.
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Nicole decides the best way to mark her territory is to pee (verbally) on her rival.
I am boyfriend and girlfriend with Clay, she informs Angela.
He is my man.
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Angela assures Nicole that she doesnt want anything to do with Clay.
Im not a drama person, she says.
You might say that Angelas mere presence in Paradise disproves that statement, but lets not quibble.
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She asks Mike out on the date.
Tayshia, meanwhile, is also annoyed at how upset Clay seems to be by Angelas presence.
At the wedding, he could not introduce Nicole as his girlfriend, she says.
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And that is not a good sign…
I dont think Clay is available.
She keeps saying things like Ifhecan be here why cantIbe here?
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which is essentially the I know you are, but what am I?
Producers are so uninterested in the date they make Mike and Angela sit in a rowboat… in apool.
Were going to be going in a lot of circles, says Mike wryly.
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I know my family would love him.
Unfortunately for the twin, JPJ still has his heart set on getting Tayshia back.
Not that hes told Haley anything of the sort.
After all, JPJ is too busy trash-talking Derek… still.
Hes a fraternity brother who is in this to take advantage of women.
That is a fact, JPJ says.
So does Derek, to be honest.
This is news to Haley (who got JPJs rose last week), and she isnothappy about it.
Im not a back-up plan.
Im not plan B, bitch!
Damn right, girl.
Whats wrong with me?
Why doesnt anybody ever want to date me?
Awww, dont cry, Other Twin.
Your man is out there somewhere… probably off camera, living a normal life.
All Im saying is I never wanted to be a back-up plan, she says.
Its not fair to me, because I could have asked somebody else [on the date].
Dude, where else should it go?
According to JPJ, all blame for everything lies with Derek.
It starts off bad, and then just gets worse from there.
Derek, in turn, accuses JPJ of fabricating salacious stories about him, and so on.
It gets loud, fast.
Im done, and Im over it.
The next day, JPJ pulls Tayshia aside for a chat.
Has she made her choice?
I dont think its anything that you could have done differently or better, she says.
Maybe its just not the right timing.
Poor Derek just cant catch a break.
I get that a lot, he says.
I always thought I would have found somebody by now, says Derek sadly.
Weve all felt that way, pal, but youre gonna berealpopular back home.
He came into Hannahs season on a tractor… and went home the first night.
And you remember Luke, dont you, rose lovers?
Hes the one Luke P. body-slammed during Hannahs season.
Hes also known as the poor mans Nick Viall.
Anyhoo, Matt and Luke arrive back-to-back with half a date card each.
Turns out the next outing will be a double date because thats a super-fun thing to do with strangers.
Though all the single ladies (and Tayshia) think Matt is hot, he zeroes in on Sydney.
Luke picks Kristina, and shes just happy to get off the beach.
After a round of spicy margaritas, the couples split up for some alone time.
Dylan and Hannah:Happy birthday, Dylan!
Producers got you some time with Hannah in the boom-boom room!
No, no, no you guys are supposed to do itinsidethe bedroom.
Shoo, you horny kids.
This is a running joke I can get behind.
and Demi LOVES it.
Honorary mention: Kristians side-eye.
- Blakes face when Haley asks, Why do men think they can manipulate women for fun?
Oh, Blake knows the answer but hes sure as hell not going to give it up on camera.
Labor Day is behind us, rose lovers!
Fall is just about here, which meansParadiseis nearing the end.
Before you go, some questions: Did Tayshia make the right choice?
Is Angela in Paradise for the Right ReasonsTM?
And why did producers put a black bar over JPJs vomit but not his snot?
Post your thoughts below!
Bachelor in Paradiseairs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on ABC
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