Jordan and Christian face the consequences of their fight, while Hannah finally chooses between Dylan and Blake.
Paradisegiveth, andParadisetaketh away, rose lovers.
This goes on for a few minutes, even after producers and security get involved.
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Christian keeps trying to break free to pummel Jordan, who keeps calling him a bitch and the like.
As for Nicole, her reign as Queen of Paradise has come to an abrupt and sobering end.
The production team agrees.
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Anybody who touches anybody else, we cant have it, a producer tells Christian.
ROSE CEREMONY SCRAMBLE
Two men gone means two more men get to stay this week.
But who will give Paradises current floaters Cam, Kevin, Wills, and JPJ a rose?
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One possible source: Onyeka.
I have the power!
Like, woo me.
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But no one seems interested in forming a connection with her.
Then theres Hannah, who is debating between Vitamin B and Vitamin D (heh heh).
Blake tries to top that by commissioning a mariachi quartet to serenade her while they… swing dance?
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Nobody swing dances to Cielito Lindo!
Even so, Hannah LOVES it.
Again with the smooching Blake right in front of Dylan!
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Hannah, come on, baby, says Mike.
Dont do my boy Dylan like that… You know better.
Does she, though?
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If she does, shedefinitelydoes not care.
Shes putting me through so much s, says Dylan through tears.
Oh Lord, lets just put the poor guy out of his misery, okay?
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ROSE CEREMONY RESULTS
Chris Harrison is mid-preamble when Onyeka interrupts.
Can I say something really quick?
I cant give out a rose to anyone tonight, she says tearfully.
Ive met amazing friends, so Im not leaving here with nothing.
Peace out, girl.
Good luck in the real world.
MY GOD DID SHE FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT?
Also, look at how happy Mike is to see Blake get the shaft.
Basically everyone but Blake is grinning ear-to-ear over this development.
Hannah thanks Dylan for being patient and understanding and awesome before handing him the rose.
Pack your bags, Blake, and go sit on a tractor at your dairy farm!
Oh, come on, Kristina you dont have to doeverythingthe producers ask you to do!
Instead, those three dudes are going home.
Fare thee well, guys!
Well probably see at least one of you on the beach next season.
Of course, in this franchise, forgettable usually equals almost sane, so props to her.
We met at Stagecoach, Blake confirms.
Good lord, was there some kind of Bachelor Nation tent at the festival or something?
Either way, Blake is just happy thatsomeoneis into him.
Their date activity isan oldParadisestand-by: Tantric yoga!
Lets get those sexual chakras flowing, guys!
It is a long monologue punctuated only by Caitlins confused Uh-huhs.
When Blakes finished, Caitlin assures him that its all fine, and they make out in the pool.
Of course, he asks Hannah to come, much to Blakes chagrin.
It sucks that theyre, like, dating right in front of me, he complains.
(Reminder: Just one night before, he was making out with Hannah in front of Dylan.
But I digress.)
At dinner, Dylan cant help but be a little too eager.
Then, he drops a partial l-bomb: Im starting to fall in love with you.
She doesnt reciprocate exactly, but Hannah assures Dylan that she is all in with him.
So, congrats, I guess?
I know that shell get there, says Dylan.
Cue the Aztec warrior-dancers!
Today, though, hes in a better place and excited about Katie.
John Paul Jones and Tayshia: Im still not sure whats going on here, and neither is Tayshia.
I think its bizarre that JPJ and I are hitting it off like we are, she admits.
Hes extremely intelligent and very good to look at.
Ive known for a long time that Im ready to settle down, he says.
Im looking forward to spending more time with you.
Wow, this man may be my spirit animal.
Demi and Derek:The John Krasinski lookalike says Demi is helping to heal his wounded heart.
Unfortunately, Demi is still thinking about Kristian, the woman she was dating back home.
One of them deserves to have all of me.
Hmmm… something tells me thats going to change.
And I have so many feelings for you, too, and Im so confused.
Its okay to not know how you feel, he adds.
Im not giving up now…
I want you in my life.
Awww, is this guy a gem or what?
- John Paul Jones doesnt know.
Neither do we, dude.
Episode 5 is in the books, rose lovers!
Do Tayshia and JPJ seem compatible to you?
And what is going on with Kristina?
(She used to be such a nice lady.)
Post your thoughts below!
Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on ABC.
