Lets recap, rose lovers!
You better believe that she LOVES it.
The two smooch and head to the Fantasy Suite.
Credit: John Fleenor/ABC
But thats sure as hell not going to keep them from the Fantasy Suites, of course.
Im so in love with you.
These two are adorable, dammit.
ABC
I have reservations, he says.
I just want to be certain, and I dont know why Im not 100 percent confident.
Im not 100 percent ready to move in together, he says.
ABC
I think we have more to explore.
that Clay is expressing reservations about her Happily Ever After.
I honestly dont feel good right now, she murmurs in that odd, monotone way of hers.
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Youve honestly never brought up these doubts before… All of a sudden, youre backing out.
She is not thrilled with that plan.
Well, on the plus side, at least shell get a good nights sleep?
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Bold and to the point.
Im not there yet, says Clay.
Having those feelings is not easy for me and its scary…
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I know what I want, and thats for us to take things slow and to leave here together.
I want you, I do.
But Nicole will hear none of it.
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I deserve a love that is so deep the ocean would be jealous!
Thats it, Clay, Im sorry…
I cant tell people that were together knowing that you dont love me back.
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With that, she hurries back up the stairs and into the back of the Reject SUV.
I was so happy just a day ago, she says tearfully.
Clay, meanwhile, asks his driver to stop at the local pub.
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I just feel like Im the luckiest man in the world right now, he tells Katie.
You make me feel calm, comfortable.
You make me feel like myself, and…
Awww, you guys, Chris B. is crying!
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And now Im crying!
Im actually crying real tears about Chris Bukowski and his journey to find love!
What is happening right now???
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Of course, she says yes, and they embrace tearfully.
Im so happy right now.
Dylan and Hannah:Man, the humidity in Mexico is murder on hair product!
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But Dylan soldiers on, determined to propose to the woman hes loved since week one.
I could never love anyone as much as I love you, he tells Hannah.
on national television… and it did not end well.
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I am terrified and really scared about being broken again, she admits.
Hannahs first response is, Wait!
and then Im shaking.
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Finally, her beloved cannot stand the suspense any longer.
You have to answer!
cries Dylan, and only then does he get his yes.
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Demi and Kristian:Hows this for some morning-after bliss?
That fruit plate looks delectable.
As happy as Demi is, though, she still feels like she doesnt deserve a future with Kristian.
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Honestly, shes too good for me, she says.
Why would someone that amazing ever want to be with me?
Demi, you changed my life forever, she says.
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Hang on, I just ran out of Kleenex.
Damn this stupid show!
Okay, Im back.
To that end, there are two big burly security dudes on set to prevent any violence.
(Big Pauliecant doeverything, you know.)
The host kicks off the reunion by askingDerekandJohn Paul Jonesto rehash their beef.
So, whats the truth?
Has Derek ever hooked up with one of his followers?
You dont need to answer that!
Social medias become a lot like a dating app, and people do reach out to each other.
So, Derek, you dont have to answer that.
And if you did, thats okay youre a human.
Wow, the male model is actually making a lot of sense.
I acted in self-defense, says Jordan.
Mike does not buy it.
And the indignities keep coming.
This is enough to get Jordan heated.
Christian retaliates by calling Jordan a bitch, and then Demi scolds them both: Act civilized!
This is a TV show.
Well said, girl.
Tayshia is still irked that Hannah said she mean girled her.
Perhaps this could all be avoided if everyone just took Jordans advice.
Next year forParadise, just stay off Instagram, he says.
Or just dont go to Stagecoach.
Up next: TheConnorCaelynnDeantriangle.
(What if she has to pee in the middle of the night?
WHAT THEN DEAN?)
This conversation segues easily into Caelynns previous drama, the pre-Paradisesaga at Stagecoach.
Did you and Hannah have a pact or a plan to take a relationship into Paradise?
(Oh, so this is the weird pact Hannah was talking about!)
Blakes answer is hilarious because it is both an assent and a denial.
Well, that settles that!
Good try, buddy.
Sorry it didnt work out.
I know that youre not a bad guy, she tells Blake, but I was hurt.
That to me is the lowest of the low.
Say sorry, dude, says Derek.
Hang in there, Caelynn.
At least you might rely on Dean and his cool bolo tie.
Uh-oh, its filler time.
So, its a… bartender?
Just kidding, just kidding congrats on your baby boy, guys.
Ever since she left Paradise, Tayshias been thinking about JPJ and their whirlwind romance.
Thats gotta be his parents house, right?
Theres no way JPJ lives in such a tastefully appointed home.
Ive avoided you at all costs, he says.
I didnt follow you on Instagram.
Whats happening right now?
he asks the assembled camera crew.
Whats happening, bro, is that Tayshia wants to get back together.
Look at my girlfriend isnt she hot?
Chris Harrison is right, wonders never cease.
(Hamletthis time.)
Keep it weird, you two.
Even though Katie and Chris got engaged in the finale, things have gone south since filming ended.
I was just so head over heels, says Katie, her voice shaky.
Now, says Katie, communications been hard.
[deep breath] Im exhausted.
Were still engaged, she says.
And if Im not getting it filled, I break down.
Do you feel like he is your husband and is going to be the father of your children?
Katie takes another deep sigh before answering.
I fell in love with potential that may never come to fruition, but Im just praying it does.
Guys, I justhatewatching Katie Mo cry!
Dammit, Bukowski, get your butt out here and fix this!
But were gonna need a little more here, Chris.
It just doesnt feel fair, she says, breaking down in tears again.
Chris says he wants to give her all the things she needs, but… he just cant?
Chris, why do you have such a hard time expressing your love?
asks Harrison (who really doesnt get enough credit for his relationship counseling skills, I must say).
Are you capable of being that man for her?
Good God, Bukowski, just sayI love you.
I honestly feel the best when Im with you, says Chris.
My family loves you, my friends love you, and…
I love you, I do.
Big Paulie, c’mon be a dear and bring Katies ring back in here.
This show was, is, and always will be a TV-version of reality.)
Be better, dammit!
But as soon as we cut to commercial, Chris heads backstage to stew about what just went down.
Im not upset, Im surprised, he informs Katie, who followed him outside.
You blindsided me, for sure.
I knew this would happen, sighs Katie, as Chris walks away.
What was I supposed to go up there and say?
I fear Big Paulie will have to take possession of that Neil Lane sparkler once again.
Oh yay, its time to talk aboutDylanandHannah.
Yeah, not much here to report, other than Hannahs inevitable move to California.
Thats right: kindly welcomeDemiandKristianto the stage!
The hate that we get is drowned out by all of the love, she says.
Shes the easiest person to love ever, Demi says of her fiancee.
She also points out that we need more Dereks out there in the world.
Plus, Demi needs a ring too, you guys!
AND THE NEW BACHELOR IS…
Yeppers, its Pilot Pete.
I have many thoughts about this choice, and it’s possible for you to read them allright here.
Should the show institute a no Instagram hookups rule?
Would you sleep in Deans van, complete with a weighted blanket and drawers he built himself?
And will you be watching Peters season ofThe Bachelor?
(Be honest.)
