Before we begin the seasons recaps, lets take a moment to make a mutual promise, shall we?
Okay, everyone done repressing the urge?
Good, then lets get started.
Damn it, producers, why must you disturb what would otherwise be a Utopia!
First on the show was my favorite part of theBig Brotherseason: the discoveries of the keys!
But even better than the simulated surprise are the personalized battle cries, i.e.
Im Jeff, and this Chicago boys gonna tackle the competition.
You see what he did there?
He tailored some braggadocio to fit his own love of football.
Now you try it, Kevin!
Im Kevin, and this designer is gonna drag, click, and crop the competition.
Great, and?wait, what?
Are you describing your strategy, or just giving a tutorial on iPhoto?
She already made her first bluff, telling everyone shes only 18.
Nice work, Annie Duke!
Oh, shes also unnecessarily cocky, which came across in the Wedgie HOH Challenge.
I did take issue with the Superwedgie twist.
Everyone knows theyre called Atomic Wedgies.
Come on, Allison Grodner, if youre going to bring back high schools humiliations, get them right!
What next, calling a swirlie a twisty?)
RussellOr Russell the Muscle, as he calls himself.
(So did he start lifting weights just so he could get a rhyming nickname?
Hes a commercial real estate broker and a mixed martial artist.
He also said he wasnt much for reading books.
So in conclusion, hesDays of Our Livesattractive, butPassionsdumb.
Someone needs to straighten that woman out, orifice-wise.
He introduced himself on the show saying, Surfing is my business and business is good.
Is it that words cant describe it, or he cant use words?
LauraShe has gigantic breasts, and referred to herself as a sweet bitch.
THE OFFBEAT
LydiaShes a special effects artist, and covered in tattoos.
He fills the traditional sassy gay slot, and hes doing a fine job with it.
Anyone whos above theBig Brotherenforced regression is okay in my book.
This is a relief to me: having recently turned 40, I thought I was just old.
She doesnt want anyone to know shes supersmart.
Well, she should have thought of that before she wore glasses: only brainiacs wear such things!
If theres one thing Jeff doesnt like, its a wordypants.
She is also apparently not a fan of wrinkling her brow.
RonnieRonnie walks that fine line between A.P.
Ronnie is a collector of all things sci-fi, especially Star Wars collectibles.
That he doesnt have tape on his glasses or wear a pocket protector must be an oversight.
I was surprised by who the producers chose.
Jessica was an okay player, although any strategic skill was overshadowed by her annoying flirtation with Eric.
Which brings us to Jessie.
Mmmm, oh yeah, thats nice.
Not likely, but hopefully hell set off some more screaming matches before he goes.
What do you think about the new cast and the clique twist?
And how do you feel about the return of Jessie?
Did it take all your restraint not to kiss his biceps on your TV screen?
Ill be back here every Friday morning to dissect the week inBig Brother.
And this season we have moreBB-related surprises for you: Julie Chen herself will be blogging for EW.com!
Will she use the phrase But first?
Well find out together!
Plus, Lynette Rice will be bringing you video interviews with each weeks evictees.
Thats right, we are allowing you all to waste even more time onBB-centric activities than ever.
Just remember your pledge: DONT COUNT THE TIME THAT PASSES.
MoreBig Brother 11on EW:Big Brother 11: Ken Tuckers take
