Dalton Ross on the celebrity-baby obsession: The excitement over Madonna’s adoption baffles EW’s senior editor.
Horrible because Im a baby-hating monster.
Of course, thats not entirely true.
Credit: Madonna: Shavawn Rissman/AP
I have two kids.
Okay, okay, sorry about that.
Got a little off-topic there.
The point is, kids are cool enough.
I like my friends.
Good stuff, all around.
But do you know what I want no part of?
At least Madonna to this point seems like she is trying to remain rather low-key about the entire affair.
(A first for her, perhaps.)
Of course, I thought Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were doing the same thing.
For months, I found myself in the somewhat bizarre position of actuallydefendingthe couple.
But then came theVanity Fairphoto spectacular.
The 4-month-old baby was on the cover!
And then everywhere inside.
(So much for nobility and modesty.)
And thats all everyone could talk about.
Hell, Imstillwriting about it!
I suppose were all at fault.
*
OBSESSION OF THE WEEK
Paul McCartney recently applied to trademark his name for food and apparel items.
What does this mean?
That would actually be kind of cool.
Ive been working at Entertainment Weekly for almost seven years now.
In that time, I have hmmm… how should I put this?
written a few things that have ruffled a few feathers.
But if youre gonna get sued, getting sued by a Beatle is the way to go.
I mean, something for the scrapbook at the very least.
enjoys the occasional bacon cheeseburger.
(And sometimes even rubs the meat over his naked, break-dancing body!)
Its become my new obsession, in fact: Get sued by Paul McCartney!
With any luck, it may be happening as you read.
THE LIST
Its not TV.
I never understood what that stupid slogan meant.
If its a TV channel, and Im watching it on my TV, then ta-da!
(Theyre also responsible for some serious swill, which we will get into next week.)
The ultimate touchstone show.
2)The WireWhat can I say that I and every other critic have not said before?
It doesnt matter: Yourestillnot watching!
3)Mr. ShowSo twisted.
Find me a sketch show as consistently funny as this one and Ill buy you a Mr. Pibb.
Has there ever been a character as hilarious as Hank Kingsley?
I have seen many a great show there, the Ramones being my faves.
A young mans dream come true!!
To this day I have a huge crush on Debbie Harry.
Goodbye, CBGB; there will never be another.
I mean, to see the legendary Ramones at CBGB is truly… Oh, who am I kidding?
I amallabout Debbie Harry in a see-through negligee!
I am a totalBattlestar Galacticageek!
And there is another one in my office.
And guess what we are both women!
And we came to love it independently i.e.
one of us did not get the other to watch.
Why do we LOVEBattlestar Galactica?
We are really, really cool and smart.
Which makes me think maybe there are only be 2.2 million cool, smart people in the U.S.?
Honestly, I dont get why more people havent gotten into the show.
I suppose not everyone can be a fan.
That show is for l-o-s-e-r-s. Stephanie Montgomery
Really, Stephanie?
You have Gleek on your Superheroes list, but you leave out Samurai?
You leave out Kaze no Yoooooo ni Hayaku!
and he turns into a raging tornado?
You leave him out for a friggin MONKEY?
Neil
Ah, Samurai.
Plus, all he could do was manipulate wind.
Kinda weak, in my opinion.
I married mine and we still have milk delivered.
So to all you single fellas lookin for love, try packing a little 2%.
Cant get enough of celebrity babies?
Have any suggestions for ways to infuriate Sir Paul?
Think I flubbed my HBO list?
Send an e-mail to theglutton@ew.com, or just fill out the handy-dandy order form below.
See ya next week!
