The dark family history of Demi Lovato is unpacked in her mothers revealing new memoir,Falling with Wings.
She developed an eating disorder early in life to gain a sense of control in her strict upbringing.
She coped by using alcohol and pills, forming a long-lasting addiction.
Credit: Feiwel & Friends; Rachel Murray/Getty Images
De La Garzas entire story will be available on March 6, when the book is published.
Its time to start a new chapter in our lives, the prologue concludes.
Our familys survival depends upon it.
Read the excerpt below, and pre-orderFalling with Wingshere.
This isnt one of them.
My only concern is getting to the airport to catch my flight back to Texas.Im going home!
Satisfied, I race outside where the car service is waiting with a black, shiny sedan.
I laugh all the way to the street.
Good morning, sir, I chirp to the driver.
Today, I finally get to say, I told you so!
Thanks to the Disney Channel and Hollywood Records, shes now a popular actress and promising new recording artist.
Sometimes all the changes are too much to comprehend.
Happy as I am to be returning to Texas, it seems odd to be leaving without my children.
But I wont exactly be alone.
As I initiate the door to our former home, the past rushes back to greet me.
The same assortment of framed picturesmostly Monet lookalikes from Eddies bachelor daysstill clings to the walls.
Theshowcasearea, I murmur to myself.
But I have no desire to stop, no desire to touch any keepsakes.
My feet know where theyre going.
When I reach the formal living roomso often referred to as the junkyardI finally feel the pull of gravity.
Within seconds, Im floating in an orbit of pleasant memories.
For sure, its enough to make a bona fide hoarder anxious!
Only the vaulted ceiling gives the room some spaciousness.
Now silent, its hard to imagine that this room was once the epicenter of our familys existence.
By day, the room was full of laughter and chatter; by night, things always disintegrated.
Thats when the cacophony of throbbing bass, screechy microphones, and high-pitched vocals always spiraled out of control.
I can still hear our passionate lines, like ghosts rising out of the darkness.
Im trying to write music.
Now its my turn!
Then we all brace for Dallass next round of vocals that will be ten times louder than before.
Yall need to go to bed, I holler from the kitchen.
Its nearly ten oclock.
But Dallas never goes down without a fight.
Thats not fair, she wails.
I just got in here.
Eddie, who has work in the morning, intones his mantra from the master bedroom, GO .
Well, almost over.
Whatever, Demi growls before firing off a few guitar riffs for emphasis.
One, two, three,I silently count before bellowing, Dont make me come up there.
Its the final benediction that finally ushers in some peace.
When the doorbell rings, my daydreams vanish.
I have sooo much to tell you.
We barely make it through the living room before I start babbling about my girls.
Breathless, I grab Lornas hands and gently squeeze her fingers.
When you gonna have time to sleep?
Right this way, I say, leading her to the kitchen.
Were on a mission, and its time to strategize.
Bless your heart, I sigh.
Your roots have got to be done.
Well, I could, I reply, but I just might turn your hair orange.
We laugh, embracing the sweetness of each others companythen promptly make a hair appointment for the next morning.
Lorna tries to put the eyelashes on but fumbles, which makes us both a bit giddy.
She struggles some more before looking in the mirror.
You look fabulous, I exclaim.
At times, we toss questions back and forth like handfuls of confetti.What should we wear?
How should we fix our hair?
I sheepishly confess that I resorted to tanning and getting Botox, just so I could look real good.
Isnt that what you do before a thirtieth reunion?
Glancing down, I notice its a text from Demi.
Hmmm, wonder what she wants?
Texting between us isnt normal when shes busy on tour.
Demis message sends a chill down my spine, causing my knees to buckle.
I struggle to breathe as the light in the room slowly dims.
I venture to talk but cant.
The words electrify every nerve in my body, telling me that Demi is in serious trouble.
At times, the darkness in her eyes frightens me and her late-night escapades arent slowing down, either.
Its clear that something is terribly wrong.
A sudden flashback pushes my anxiety even higher.
I remember how peaceful she looked, but when I gently touched her, I froze.
Next to her on the clean sheets was a bloody rag.
I felt as though someone had slapped me in the face.
Wake up, I shouted, fearing she was dead.
She awoke with surprise, her eyes clouding with fear.
I cried, my hands shaking.
I shouldnt, she stammered, her eyes wide and bristling with tears.
Oh, God, I wont do it anymore.
I swear; Im so sorry.
As we held each other tightly, I wanted to believe her.
But the problem wasnt new.
Demi had started cutting her wrists long before that morning.
Everything seemed fine until I saw those bloody rags that morning.
Despite the alarms that went off in my head, we pushed the incident aside.
There wasnt time for talking.
The pressures of the industry consumed not only Demi, but me, too.
As mother and schedule keeper, it was my job to maintain control and to not let anyone down.
Nothing was just a family matter anymore.
Walking away wasnt an option.
Guilt claws at my heart.
How could I have been so naive?Why didnt I do more?
Oh, God, what have we done?
I cry, watching Lornas eyes grow wider.
A slow tremor vibrates at my feet then rises to my chest.
My whole body aches as I recall a haunting dream.
The dream was so real that I jumped out of bed, tears streaming down my cheeks.
I cry.Was she in her hotel room?
Did she take a handful of pills?
Did she cut too deep?Questions fly through my head so fast that I cant think.
Each scene cuts through me like a bolt of lightning.Im losing my little girl.
I try Eddies number one more time.
Hello, he answers, his voice too calm, too flat.
I scream, Wheres Demi?
next to me, he says through clenched teeth.
Typically friendly and upbeat, Eddies response unnerves me.
Clearly, he doesnt want to talk.
Is she all right?
not really, he says, frustration tugging at every word.
Oh, no, no, no.
He did not just say that.And so emphatically, like Im bothering him.
Oh, youre going to talk, I say.
Youre going to tell me right now whats happening.
Only then do I hear the raggedness of his breath.
Were on the plane, he begins.
There was a fight, and she punched one of her dancers in the face .
I look at Lorna and mouth, Shes okay.
Eddie, dont worry, I say a bit too optimistically.
We can deal with this.
The silence on the other end of the phone isnt exactly golden.
The truth is Im rattled to the core but relieved, too.
Demi isnt dead, and thats enough to convince me that well work the matter out as a family.
After all, thats what we always do.
But I can already feel the weight of everything Ive tried to hold together slipping from my grasp.
I wonder if weve waited too long to realize the extent of our problems.
This Hollywood dream isnt going so well, I finally confess to Lorna.
Were all having a hard time.
Once I start shedding my secrets, I cant seem to stop.
The past few months have been hell.
No one in my family knows, but Dallas just got out of rehab.
I pause, twisting the tissue in my hands.
But its Demi Im most worried about.
She battles depression a lot .
and Im pretty sure all those parties she goes to are full of drugs and alcohol.
Lorna has the kindest look on her face, which suddenly confuses me.
What am I supposed to do, Lorna?
My family means everything to me.
With each admission, my perfect world begins to crumble.
Dianna, youve always put your children first, Lorna offers, but I shake my head.
Now, its time for surgery.
Lorna watches as I pace back and forth, raving like a lunatic.
What did I do wrong?
How could this happen?
Doesnt Demi know how much we love and support her?
Then my mind does a U-turn.
Why did she hit someone?
Did that girl provoke Demi?
Exhausted, I mumble that Demis career is probably over.
Lorna jumps up and grabs my shoulders.
Good Lord, Dianna!
Everythingisgoing to be fine.
Youve still got her!
Shes aliveeverything else will fix itself.
Her words sting my heart, making me even more emotional.
The tragedy was hard on us, too, because Trenton was like a brother to my girls.
Thats when it hits meLorna never had a chance to save him.
We, at least, have a fighting chance to turn things around.
Wewillbe okay, I tell Lorna, trying to sound strong.
There will be no happily-ever-after ending for our Hollywood success story, no magic wand to erase the mistakes.
Dear God, I whisper, send us the help we need.
Its a simple, heartfelt prayer.
Its time to start a new chapter in our lives.
Our familys survival depends upon it.
