And how can you tell?
The dials on your favorite data pipe shows get turned up all the way during this ratings-crazy period.
And you could certainly see that with last nightsDesperate Housewives.
No crazy tornadoes this go round.
(Thank goodness!)
But guest-starring this week?
Sordid sex, oh my!
You bet your bippy.
Susan donned a barely there French maid costume to lure Jackson back into bed with her.
It was, however, caught on tape.
(We found this out only after Orson and Bree did the same thing.
Who knew pot holders were so, um… (And we thought Mrs. McCluskey was crazy.
Who realized the suburbs were so sex crazed?
Lynette threw down the gauntlet with Anne, the lady whos been boffing her son.
And it happened, somehow perfectly, in the school bathroom…right after a PTA meeting.
She pushed Anne into the paper towel dispenser.
Well, not so much pushed.
As soon as Anne walked into the bathroom, I just knew something amazing was going to happen.
Is she going to simply berate her opponent with a heart-wrenching speech?
Eat a bunch of pot brownies and then embarrass herself instead?
You just never know.
In this case, she reacted as only a mother would with claws out.
because I dont think the cougar would have seen the next sunrise if Lynette knew that she was pregnant.
Theyre keeping the baby, from what we can tell right now.
Wasnt the fact that they were doing it enough?
Did she really have to get pregnant, too?
(And on that note, why would she be pregnant when they were clearly using condoms?
Thats how his dad found out, wasnt it?
I know condoms arent foolproof, but still.
This revelation smells a bit fishy to me.
Could Anne just be playing Porter so they can run off together?)
Stuff that, honestly, who cares about?
(She used to chew on her hair?
Um…disgusting.)
Panties is inexplicably a given on most ladies most-hated-words list (right?
), but larvae and chunks…ewww.
Admittedly those words kind of give me the chills, too.
But back to the main story here.
Jackson revealed that hes a painter.
Yes, yes, you all know hes a painter.
But really, hes anactualtrained painter.
Like the fancy ones that paint on canvases in Europe and whatnot.
And Susans no-sex edict helped him get over his year of painters block.
And that was after only a few days of being deprived.
Imagine what he could do if she took away his sex for a year.
(A redux of the Sistine Chapel?)
(Even despite Susans gross-out quips, like Jackson, look at me!
Im easier than a five-year-olds homework!)
The touching moment when she saw his painting of her sealed the deal for me.
Jackson obviously loves her so much.
So much that he portrayed the usually harebrained Susan with the gravitas of Mona Lisa.
Thats a feat in itself!
We dont do that to each other.
Bree is nothing if not blunt.
But I cant help but wonder: Are we in for yet anotherDesperatecatfight?
Susan versus Katherine maybe?
Gaby, meanwhile, got herself in too deep with crazy Mrs. Hildebrand.
Oh, lap of luxury, how Ive missed sitting in you!
she cooed from her inflatable pool chair.
Margarita in hand, of course.
My problem with this story line is that you could see it coming from a million miles away.
Where do we even go from here?
Methinks maybe its time for Gaby to try winning the bread for this family for a while.
Im still loving Lily Tomlins guest role.
Speaking, of course, about whatever Mrs. McCluskey was drinking.
Are we supposed to be shocked by that?
The guy is a loose cannon.
Him being criminally insane would be no surprise.
What does his doctor plan to do on this trip to Fairview?
Warn those around him?
Or do they just need to have a consultation?
Honestly, I need some more movement on his story!
Maybe something huge will happen there to propel the Dave Williams mystery forward.
We can hope, right?
But what do you think, TV Watchers?
Is Katherine making a huge mistake by hooking up with Mike?
Can Porter really escape from Lynettes clutches?
Wasnt that sex music Jackson played to seduce Susan just the worst?
And whats in store when Susans daughter turns up witha new beaunext week?
