Now hes ready to spill his juiciest off-camera Hollywood stories in the appropriately titledName Drop.
Indeed, this is Mathews (who previously wroteMan Up!)
And much like syphilis, name-dropping is super-grody and spreads quickly.
Credit: Ricky Middlesworth
No, not that comic book movie.
No, not that one.
Side note, Chris, if youre reading thisand I just assume you areI love your body .
Simon & Schuster
Honey, Id Guard your Galaxy any day!
Because Im trying to be bigger than that.
Well see how long that lasts.)
And, trust methe red carpet stories are the boring ones!
The following Hollywood stories are wholesome and hilarious.
No celebrity was harmed in the making of this book.
But dont worry, honeywere still gonna go there.
And who would it hurt if I told you?Ham.
Seenow you know and nobody died.
Well, the pig did, but you cant blame me for that.
No one ever specifically told me not to tell these stories, but I never do .
Unless you take me to happy hour and ply me with cheap two-for-one cocktails and appetizers.
What can I say?
Im a total whore for a hors doeuvre!
After about four Skinny Margaritas (I was going to have only three, but hello, theyre two-for-one!
When I finished narrating, one of them said You have to put that in a book!
to which I indignantly replied, I couldnever!
What other book has done that for you, huh?
Go open upMoby Dick!
Theres not a single recipe in therenot even for fish sticks!
I knowI was shocked, too!
No wonder nobody ever read it!
So here we go.
Lets get this soon-to-be-classic piece of literature started!
Pretend its happy hour and you and I are sitting at the bar.
I look amazing and, I agree with you, much thinner in person.
You look good, too.
Maybe its the candlelight, maybe its the boozeeither way, lets just go with it.
Just lean in, keep this all between you and me, and do me a favor?
Dont judge me if I name-drop just a little.
I promise this book will be out of this world.
