‘Game of Thrones’ concludes with tragic loss and a surprise birth.
We start right back in the middle of last week’s Horror.
Yoren grabs Arya, slices off her hair and calling her “boy.”
“You want to live boy?”
he yells, full of mock anger helpfulness.
Were some of these shots gross and disturbing?
Turns out Rickon shared the same premonition as Bran.
The minstrel promises to never-ever perform the song again, but Joffrey wants to make certain of it.
“Tell me, which do you favor, your fingers or your tongue?”
Joffrey asks, all curious.
The singer makes the tough choice, saying every man needs his hands.
“Good, tongue it is!
I’m done for the day.”
Yes, it’s all in a day’s work for King Joffrey.
So she’s got sex with the tyrant who killed her father to look forward to.
He says he’s going to give her a presenther brother Robb’s head on a spike too.
“Or maybe he’ll give me yours,” Sansa says, and did you cheer?
At my place, there was cheering.
She starts forward
And The Hound stops her.
In another room: We see what Cersei’s been doingand it’s another family member!
Is this better than her being with Jaime since it’s her cousin instead of her twin brother?
Or is it worse because now we know she’s been boffing at least two family members?
Damn you, HBO.
He’s full of rage about his father’s death.
He wants to “kill them all.”
Catelyn corrects him: “We have to get the girls back andthenwe will kill them all.”
Fine, as long as killing them all is part of the plan somewhere.
They were already at war with the Lannisters, but now they’rereallyat war.
Catelyn goes to visit Jaime, who seems intent on antagonizing and taunting her"widowhood becomes you."
Catelyn: “Because of men like you.”
Jaime: “There are no men like me.”
Camp Lannisteris also upset about Ned Stark’s death, just much-much less so.
NEXT: Sexposition with Grand Maester Pycell; Dany made a bad deal
Tywin reconsiders Tyrion.
This is quite a promotionfrom brothel and boozing black sheep to running the whole kingdom.
Tyrion is stunned that his father would have so much trust him.
“You’re my son,” Tywin says simply.
Except there’s just one caveat: Tyrion cannot take his new prostitute friend, Shae.
He decides to take her anyway.
Turns out that deal she made with that healer she saved wasn’t a very good one.
She demands to see Drogo, the life she saved with her sacrifice.
But he’s catatonic.
At least most of the Dothraki tribe has moved on and are not about to butcher her.
Again, it’s tough to find the moral lesson here.
See, doesn’t work.
Dany and Ned Stark, both hosed by mercy.
She gets the pillow and smothers him.
He leaves in the night but is brought back by his Night’s Watch brothers.
Grand Maester P rambles his glowing praise of kings great and terrible while Ros washes her lady parts.
NEXT: Beauty and the breastDany hatches dragons!
She shows she can stand up for herself and threatens to kill a fat boy with Needle.
She’s helped by Gendryremember him from midseason?
King Robert’s bastard that Ned found.
The blacksmith kicked him out, presumably because with Robert dead, any secret payments dried up.
But what good is having a fantasy world where dragons used to exist but do no longer?
By waiting until now, the show has earned its biggest high-fantasy element.
Dany and her remaining followers have built a funeral pyre for Drogo.
She places the priceless dragon eggs next to him and has Ser Jorah tie the witch to the pyre.
The witch says she won’t scream, but she does once the whole structure goes up in flames.
Ignoring Ser Jorah’s pleas, she walks straight into blazing fire.
She’s got blood of her dragon ancestors after all.
And she’s got something green in her lap.
Put in the intense fires of the funeral pyre, the Targaryen princess has hatched her eggs.
She stands, and Ser Jorah and her followers drop to their knees in worship.
Dany lost her husband, she lost her child.
But dragons, as we’ve been told, are the most powerful things in this world.
And now she has three of them.
And that’s it.
For nearly a year.
It was also the only episode to conclude without any kind of cliffhanger.
But you might’t take your eyes off him.
Runner-up: Sean Bean.
I thought Bean’s performance was stiff, but that’s sort of how Eddard Stark is.
In a show full of strong child actor performances, Williams was heartbreaking and pitch perfect.
But check out her scene discussing her hate-marriage in Episode 5 with King Robert.
Best Fight: Bronn vs. Eryie Knight.
Hottest Sex Scene: Drogo and Dany (the non-rape one).
But Dany showing Drogo her newfound girl-on-top skills inEpisode 2 (my favorite to recap)wins out.
Best Change From the Books: There was a lot of smart moves.
In the book, Arya sees Ned getting executed from a distance and Yoren finds her on his own.
Now we understand why he’s the toughest guy in the tribe.
Most missed scene from books: Tyrion marching into battle in Episode 9.
But I also don’t know how anybody can describeThronesas cheap.
So I don’t fault producers for not shooting this, I’m just bummed it wasn’t there.
Best Sexposition: I loved Viserys talking about dragons in the bathtub with the curious prostitute.
The kicker at the end (“What am I paying you for?
To make me sad?")
was one of the biggest laughs in the show.
This gave sexposition a good name.
Worst Sexposition: Littlefinger’s speech about vying for Catelyn’s affection while judging Ros auditioning forBrothel Idol.
It was sort of funny, but I didn’t believe this scene for a second.
His name is death.
(OK, you sort of had to be there).
Most Gruesome Death: Viserys getting “crowned.”
That I’m reassuring myself by thinking this makes me all the more creeped out.
Dumbest Controversy: Jon’s direwolf Ghost barks in show but not in books?
Most Powerful Scene: Ned Stark’s execution.
Everybody involved with the show knew this scene had to rock.
Gorgeous, horrific, suspenseful.
The most tense artistry for a character death since Adriana was driven out to the woods inThe Sopranos.
And, like Joffrey, I’m done here.
I’ve had a blast coveringThronesand deeply appreciate all your feedback, support, and thoughts.
