Oh, how I love the dropping of things.
I wished they wanted to see my photos, like.
(like: No wagering.)
Credit: Everett Collection
More often than not, so long as I arrived before 7 a.m. or so, I got in.
I was living the dream.
(I carried a watermelon.)
Paul suggested I sing Thats Entertainment, requiring me to shamefully admit that I didnt know that song.
(I carried a watermelon??
That night, relatives from across the country called to celebrateme as the broadcast rolled through the time zones.
Other people recognized me, toonamely the CBS security staff.
I have no idea.
Iwas in a daze.
I had just been banned from my favorite thing on Earth,because I loved it too much.
It made that time I got thrown out ofDisney World seem like a basket of puppies.
Getting tossed out of theLetterman kingdom crushed me.
My love for Letterman continues, but its far more casual thesedays.
I feel a littleguilty, but no one can remain an obsessive stalker forever.
(Plus,theyre not really into stalkers in the Letterman camp.
Most common question you ask: Hey!
Wheres everybody going?9.
Mr. Rogers grabs you by the throat and screams, Pick up the pace, you simp!8.
Sominex tablets now available shaped like you7.
Your wildest fantasy: To someday visit Winnepeg6.
Your bedroom walls are covered with photos of Treasury Secretary Lloyd Bentsen5.
During confession, you hear the priest press his Gameboy4.
The person seated next to you at the dinner party is sawing at their wrists with a steak knife3.
They let you sedate patients for surgery by describing your system for organizing laundry2.
During sex, your wife calls out the name Irving R. Levine1.
You think Al Gore is a maniac
(Insert sound of breaking glass here.)
