“Well,livingat least,” she notes drily.
(That would be her first husband, actor Berkeley Harris.)
I realized I can’t do a serious show."
And for that, we are thankful.
BREAKING INTO THE BUSINESSNecessity is the mother of invention, and so is divorce.
Harris' first foray into TV writing came as a result of an unexpected life change.
I was never interested in TV writing.
He was an unemployed actor.
Her name was Lisabeth Hush, she was an actress.
Well, I did it, and they gave me 10 more to do, and that started everything.
It was out of necessity.
I gave him his bottle, and we pitched, and it worked.
I didn’t take him to every story meeting, but sometimes I simply had to.
He probably learned a lot.
I just wanted to write at home.
I never went to the set, never went to the writers' room.
I don’t think I ever did [meet the cast].
I was just an episode writer.
Harris wrote four episodes in total, including the now legendary two-part abortion story, “Maude’s Dilemma.
“Norman wanted an abortion episode for Maude’s neighbor Vivian [played by Rue McClanahan].
I thought it was a wonderful idea.
I gave it to him, and he said, “This is too good for Vivian.
We have to give it to Maude.”
I knew it would be an intense reaction [from viewers].
My first heartbreak wasFay.
I remember crying when that got canceled.
And the next day I drove on the lot and my parking space was gone.
It was that fast!
They called us into the connection and they said, “Listen…” And I went berserk.
[I said] all kinds of terrible things to the internet [vice president] Marvin Antonowsky.
Don’t take that literally.
I really was a little bit bonkers.
Steve Gordon was terrified of me from that day on.
SOAP(ABC, 197781)Harris launched two shows in 1977.
“It was basically ‘See Dick.
See Dick and Jane fall in love,'” says Harris of the short-lived series.
And that really was the appeal.
We would change the storyboard around, we could shift things, kill people, bring them back.
There was a lot to play around with.
And that was my favorite show.
We pitched it, I think, to [then ABC entertainment president] Freddy Silverman.
It was a very funny bible; it was about half an inch thick, and they loved it.
A lot of [the cast] were from theater.
We had to cast Mary, I think, three or four times before it worked out.
Jessica we had from the get-go, once we met Katherine and she read.
And Richard Mulligan was just gold.
You didn’t even have to write for him one of his looks was enough.
[Billy Crystal] tells this story about when he met Paul.
Paul had been given two tarantulas by the casting women.
I didn’t have a writers’ room.
I always hated the writers' room.
I think I went to one writers' room and cried.
OnSoap, I wrote the first year and a half by myself.
Writers' rooms now, what are they, like, 15 people?
We tried a few people.
It just didn’t work out.
So I would rewrite them.
My son and I lived in a little rental in Sherman Oaks, no pool.
I said to my son at the time, “Listen, Mom’s got a choice here.”
He said, “Go for the pool.”
And we got the pool!
But it was exhausting.
When the show went on the air, people had expectations that simply weren’t met.
They thought, “There’s nothing wrong with this.”
But it did very well.
The protests may not have derailed the show (it ranked No.
We got memos [from the data pipe] all the time.
And they were very lenient.
We were pretty much allowed to do anything, and we were really ahead of the time.
I think our only advertiser was Vlasic pickles and a car company, Alfa Romeo.
To this day I only get Vlasic pickles.
[Otherwise] it could have run for years.
When asked what interested her about building a show around Benson, she replies, “Money.”
Benson was such a beloved character, we knew we could do a spin-off.
What [Robert] brought to the role was, he was the smartest person in the room.
He wasthe voiceof sanity and reality, and he let everybody know that.
He really did everything he served every aspect of a character that you could.
And he was a pleasure to work with.
The show did very, very well.
I was not very [involved] because ofSoap.
I couldn’t do everything as it was, I could hardly doSoap.
There’s just so much of me you might spread around.
I would stick around for the first couple of episodes and that was it.
I wasn’t emotionally invested in those shows the way I was inSoapandGolden Girls.
“AfterSoap, I said I will never have this experience again, because I was exhausted.”
In 1985, Paul and Tony took a meeting at NBC.
The writer said, “No, I’m not interested.”
Paul said, “I think I might have someone who’s interested.”
What about…” I said, “No, Paul!
I’m not don’t do this to me!”
He said, “It would be four older women.”
Older appealed to me, because old people have stories and young people didn’t.
I said, “Oldwomen?”
He said, “Yes, old women.”
I thought, “Okay, I could do that.”
Well, by “old women,” NBC meant women in their 40s or 50s.
So we negotiated we never pinned [their] ages down.
We just found the women, and we had the most remarkable women.
There’s just no question.”
And Estelle Getty came in it was a no-brainer.
And when somebody like Betty White wanted to do it and was available, it was just gold.
OnMary Tyler Moore, she was the slut.
Let her read for the part of Rose."
And then we got Rue for Blanche.
The pilot and I say this as humbly as I possibly can it was a perfect episode.
You know how much you have to do in a pilot, besides tell a story in 23 minutes.
It’s the hardest to pull off.
The Golden Girlswas an instant smash, premiering at No.
1 with an estimated 44 million viewers.
and living their best lives in Miami.
I couldn’t believe [the ratings].
It was just stunning.
These were four women who became a family.
Some [of the characters] were easier to write for than others.
A few came more naturally, like Dorothy and Sophia.
They were New York girls [like me], and they had that edge.
You just couldn’t get anybody better for any of those roles.
I always liked to write inSoapand inGolden Girls scenes that meant something.
I never liked setups and jokes.
I wanted there to be some reality to what I was writing.
Sitting around eating cheesecake gave them the opportunity to talk about something.
And that’s why it was so appealing…. You didn’t see people talking [on TV].
There were comparisons made later toSex and the City, and I fail to find the similarities there.
These [Golden Girls] women had solid, real relationships;Sex and the CityandDesigning Womenwere something else.
Though much likeSATC,The Golden Girlsfeatured very memorable fashion.
[Covers her face] Oh my God.
Did I ask to have any of the wardrobe myself?
It was more of “Okay, fine, whatever.”
Because I just had no patience with them.
Way after [Golden Girls], I had a show calledThe Secret Lives of Men.
And it was true!
She had gone to school [with my kids], and I drove the car pool.
I said, “I’m not taking notes from her.”
The Golden Girlsspent six seasons in the top 10, then dropped to No.
30 in its seventh and final year.
(“It just didn’t work,” says Harris.
Even if I were much younger, I wouldn’t do it.
And I don’t have any ideas for television shows or anything like that.
I am fine not writing or even thinking about it.
I’m not an easy laugher.
I’ve never found any comedies that I really like.
I’m a dark soul.
[Arrested Developmentcreator] Mitch [Hurwitz] worked with us [onGolden Girls].
I think I watched [Arrested] once in the very beginning.
It just wasn’t my cup of tea.
Does she feel like a pioneer?
How do you definepioneer?
Did I break some ground?
But if you want to use it, go ahead.
The Golden Girlsis currently streaming on Hulu.Soapis available on DVDand it currently reruns daily on Antenna TV.
