Warning: spoilers ahead for HulusVeronica Marsrevival.
Read on at your own risk!
Veronica Mars does not play by the rules.
Michael Desmond/Hulu
So why should Hulus revival of the cult-favorite detective drama follow the rules either?
Episode 1: Spring Break Forever
Were officially back in Neptune and man does it feel good!
Looks like the class warfare in Neptune is still alive and well after all these years!
That was everything I hoped it would be.
But alas, the good times dont last.
Veronica flat-out denies Logans proposal and trouble starts brewing in paradise.
Its always about a girl.
In fact, its Veronica whos more shaken than Logan.
But does Veronica actually want that dangerous Logan to return?
Maybe Veronica needs therapy too.
This is one guy you dont want to underestimate.
And dont count out wannabe-detective pizza guy murderhead Penn whos using social media to gain newfound fame.
Just think of what these two could accomplish together after seeing Mattys evading skills!
Episode 3: Keep Calm and Party On
Pro-tip #1: Never attempt to mug Veronica.
It wont end well.
And its not crucial to the season-long arc (or even this episode!)
That entire sequence was just chefs kiss.
Especially the morning after shower/puke scene.
Hey, Im only human!
Ill take what I can get.
Things are going great in Neptune!
Plus theres some new intrigue on mysterious buyers coming in and snatching up all of Neptunes local businesses.
Its why hes been hiring Weevil and the PCHers to drive up the crime and scare people away.
The ghosts of cases past include Tim Foyle, a.k.a.
the college TA who took his perfect murder assignment a little too literally, and Mercer, a.k.a.
the Hearst college rapist.
This was all to get some information on the Neptune Bomber case and Clyde.
The visit turns out to be fruitful as Veronica learns all about Clyde conning Big Dick to bankroll him.
Not exactly the stuff of a serial killer but good to know nonetheless.
Never underestimate Logans love of pushing peoples buttons, Leo!
Especially when your working lunch turns into a five-hour stakeout … which in Veronicas world is definitely a date.
They even share snacks and discuss failed past relationships!
Leo, you in danger, bro.
Could things still work out for these crazy kids?
I also want Clyde and Keiths friendship to work out because Im oddly a fan of their dynamic.
Clyde, dont break my heart!
And dont forget about the ominous ending: that bound and gagged bloody guy out wandering in the desert?
Thats one of the guys that the congressman put a hit on.
He somehow survived … and that means nothing but trouble for the Maloof family.
What is her angle here?
Why isnt she being more supportive?
And what does this mean for their relationship?
She sued the former owner for not providing adequate security and voila, she became the new owner.
The odds are the culprit is either Veronicas new friend or Keiths new friend Clyde.
Either way, this case is now personal for both of them.
What is happening?!
And Im officially worried about Keiths health.
He finally confesses to Veronica about his memory loss and health struggles and its starting to get real.
He could have dementia, or it could be something even worse.
The hour ends on an explosive note with another bombing, this time at Comrade Quacks.
Luckily no one is killed but three are in critical condition.
Its looking likely that shes behind the bombings, so Veronica bugs her office.
Not great that Vs first new friend in a long time might actually be a serial killer.
Thats going to do wonders for her trust issues.
Hearing her talk about the headlines as if theyre just headlines to Veronica is eerie.
Getting back on track, ugh Veronica!
Just go to therapy with Logan!
Stop digging in your heels!
Do you see how he looks in uniform?!
Hes being called back into active duty and you may have messed things up.
This is not good!
That voicemail Logan leaves for Veronica is some real heartbreaking stuff.
Kind of made me want a wine glass as full as Veronicas.
Or at least the Sea Sprite bombing.
And Big Dick thinks Clyde killed Perry to cover it up.
What if these bombings arent actually connected?
So, not great.
Alonzo knows that Veronica was snooping around his hotel room.
Will Weevil intervene before things get messy?
Their almost kiss outside Veronicas door proves my suspicions immediately.
If they hadnt been interrupted by the noise inside her apartment, would they have actually hooked up?
Thank you for the interruption, Matty!
Episode 7: Gods of War
Veronica seems intent on destroying every good relationship in her life.
Thats right: its the pizza guy!
because he almost got her killed.
But the case isnt over yet.
And Penn still wont admit to being the bomber and hires Veronica and Keith to prove his innocence.
He says he wants to stop the final bomb from going off, but is he telling the truth?
And uh, can we talk about Veronicas sex dream about Leo?
How was that even hotter than the LoVe scenes weve gotten all season?!
I am not okay with this.
But did Penn actually set the other bombs?
If not him, then who?
And will the final bomb go off?
And will we see Veronica and Logan actually get married?
Weve got about 40 more minutes to go before the season ends, so lets find out.
Who is this mysterious pizza delivery guy, you ask?
Don McNotten, aka Clark Dukes annoying, condescending murderhead.
For a heart-stopping moment, it feels like Keith failed.
But he survives, diffuses the bomb and saves the day.
Lets put all that madness behind us because its time for a LoVely wedding.
First, though, some good news: Keith isnt suffering from dementia.
He was put on the wrong combination of medications which was causing the memory loss.
And after a VERY RUDE fake-out where everyone (including myself!)
(Seriously, that was not funny, writers.
Dont do that.)
And you know whatsreallynot funny?
Giving us the LoVe wedding weve been waiting years for only to kill Logan just a few minutes later.
Thats right: Logans dead.
I cant believe I just typed that sentence, but its true.
No more fake outs.
And this isnt a cliffhanger leaving his fate up in the air.
We get confirmation in the form of a time jump.
One year later, things are bleak.
Spring Break is longer what it was in Neptune.
The bars and clubs are gone.
The dispensary is now a spa.
Clyde Pickett is a thriving businessman with his long-lost love by his side.
The NUTT ordinances passed, rent control was destroyed and the town changed.
The bad guys won, the good guys lost.
I honestly dont know how I feel about this.
And thats why Veronica is finally getting out of Neptune.
This feels like a new chapter for both Veronica and the show and Im not sure where its heading.
It serves as the pep talk she needs: Blows that would destroy most people?
She always picks herself back up.
And pick herself back up she does.
Me on the other hand?
Im going to need a long time to recover from this.
