A voice comes over the loudspeaker.
It sounds like John Cramer (Tobin Bell), the confession-demanding serial trap-layer better known as Jigsaw.
The voice proclaims various priestly commands: confess ones sins, give of thy blood.
Credit: Brooke Palmer/Lionsgate
Then the saws start spinning, and the chains pull the prisoners ever closer.
This new reboot follows the kooky formula established way back in 2004.
In the locked room, the captives do bloody, sharp-edged penance through vaguely Seussian death machines.
In the outside world, law enforcement agents follow the bloody trail and engage in telenovela-level soap operatics.
The doctors assistant (Hannah Emily Anderson) seems to enjoy the sight of corpses a little too much.
What a wacky morgue this morgue is!
Jigsawis directed by the Spierig Brothers, Peter and Michael.
Theyre best known for helmingDaybreakers, an endearingly loopy trash pile from the vampire vogue of yesteryear.
They bring an angle to this material thats almost clever.
TheSawseries exploded into hot nonsense almost immediately few things have needed mythology less.
The violence inJigsawturns riotous so quickly.
There are a couple sequences like that, silly traps Rube Goldberg-ing out of control.
Even sillier: Most of the law enforcement characters spend the whole movie asking, Is Jigsaw alive?
or proclaiming, Jigsaw cant be alive!
Seven years afterSaw 3D, you wouldve expected a back-to-basics approach, butJigsawdoubles down on the franchises twisty storytelling.
It feels too long, and its only 90 minutes.
Jigsaws lifecoach-gone-mad ruminations have never sounded less threatening: He is become mansplainer, destroyer of drama.
But there are lasers.
