Why is it boys that are pulling the triggers?
Once again, the shooter was a troubled young man.
That letter eventually became the upcoming bookA Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son.
Credit: Mike Pont/WireImage; Algonquin Books
Im not an expert on gun violence.
Im not an expert in gender theory or gender studies.
But what I am an expert on is being a father to my son.
Algonquin Books
Im an expert in understanding my own struggles with what its like to attempt to be a man.
Im an expert in those questions.
I dont know that Im an expert in the answers.
A Better Mandoesnt hit bookshelves until May, but EW can exclusively reveal the cover below.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You wrote childrens books around the time you had young kids.
I wrote when I was a kid, I wrote stories.
And when I was in college, I wrote sketches and TV shows.
And then I started writing books.
The only thing that changes from over the years is either the format, or sometimes the tone.
Like, this new book is pretty serious, for the most part.
I remain unconfident that anyone is going to want to read it.
It can be difficult to be that vulnerable.
It really got me thinking more deeply about boys.
Its always been in my comedy.
Questions about what it means to be a guy.
There was always jokes about stuff like that.
It was the Parkland shootings that sparked that.
Before that was Sandy Hook.
And we live right next door to Sandy Hook.
That happened when they were littler.
My two kids [Elijah and Ruthie].
That got me interested in just the phenomenon of gun violence.
That was the question started the book.
The first is because the book is literally about What does it mean to be a macho man?
What does that mean?
How do we evaluate what that is?
How do we evaluate what masculinity is?
Im not saying those two things are in opposition.
you’re free to be obviously a very masculine gay guy.
All gender itself is so performative.
We put on essentially costumes and signifiers that say, This is the kind of man I am.
This is the kind of woman I am.
Clever because that ball cap is so ubiquitous in the culture, and the kind of dude culture.
Women have made tremendous progress.
The LGBT community has made tremendous progress.
And all of it feels like its coming at my expense.
The work that women have done to move forward in the culture is work that we can piggyback onto.
We dont have to fear those changes, we can welcome them and learn from them.
And then help propel them.
Lets talk about comedy for a second, because this idea plays a part in your book.
There are now opportunities for people in the comedy community that didnt exist even five years ago.
Youre seeing an explosion of women and people of color and gay people and trans people and disabled people.
Whoever the gatekeepers were in comedy, youre seeing those gates come crashing down.
Its a good thing that we have this problem.
Im thrilled that we have this problem.
Im less thrilled about my own professional prospects as a result of this problem.
Because again, like, Im the dude that benefited from it.
Now I have to up my game.
Have you shown your sonA Better Man?
If so, what was that like?I gave him the book.
He knew I was writing the book honestly.
I said, I wrote a book for you.
To my knowledge, he has not read a single word of it.
How long was that ago?That was in late August.
What I suspect is happening is hes saving it up for when I die.
And then he feels so guilty that he never read it that hell finally crack it open.
And after 10 pages say, Yeah, this doesnt work, and put it away.
Is it because he feels like hes read these pages before?
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
