In this selection, Moby details his relationship with actress Natalie Portman.
Read on below.Then It Fell Apartpublishes May 7 and isavailable for pre-order.
Chapter 6 AUSTIN, TEXAS (1999)
Natalie Portman is where?
Credit: Moby
Shes at the backstage door.
She gazed up at me with black eyes and said, Hi.
Hi, I said.
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I escorted Natalie backstage and got her a bottle of water.
I drank a beer, while my band and crew stood around the dressing room, quiet and uncomfortable.
Wed never had a movie star backstage before, and none of us knew what to say or do.
So, did you enjoy the show?
She was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt; her dark-brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail.
The songs from Play were so great.
Natalie sat on the black leather couch and smiled at me.
I was nervous, so I made small talk.
Were going to New York in a few days, I said.
She smiled again and looked straight into my eyes.
Ill be in New York too.
Can we meet up?
But here she was in my dressing room, flirting with me.
Well, I should go, she said.
Can you walk me to my car?
After the show Natalie appeared on the balcony where my turn-tables were set up.
She was wearing a perfectly fitted beige dress and looked disconcertingly like Audrey Hepburn.
What do you think of my suit?
I asked, smiling nervously.
Its interesting, she said.
What are you doing now?
Im playing a late-night show for Donatella Versace, I said.
Do you want to go?
No, playing live.
I was thirty-three and she was twenty, but this was her world.
The paparazzi knew my name.
Id never been photographed by paparazzi.
No one had ever yelled my name before, unless they were mad at me.
I walked to the bar and ordered two vodka and sodas, one for each of us.
Do you mind if I drink?
Joe Perry made eye contact with me.
Hey, are you Moby?
I am, and youre Joe Perry.
Man, I just want to tell you how much I love your album.
Enough people had told me this lately that it no longer surprised me, but it still confused me.
I owned only three records, so I put on the first Aerosmith album.
When Dream On began I leaned over and kissed her.
Unfortunately I had never kissed anyone romantically and didnt know how it was supposed to be done.
I kept my mouth closed and kissed her the way people kissed family members at Christmas.
I guess so, I said.
Shes so hot, he said, and walked away.
I finished my drink and Natalies too.
We headed out for the Versace party, where I was supposed to perform at midnight.
As we left, the paparazzi started screaming again: Natalie!
Theyre so annoying, Natalie said as we got into her limo.
Oh, I know, I said, lying.
I loved the paparazzi they knew my name.
We arrived at Donatella Versaces party, where there were even more paparazzi than at the official VMA after-party.
This time they yelled my name as often as Natalies.
Id only had two drinks, but I felt like Id swallowed a distillery full of joy.
I was hand in hand with Natalie Portman; Id chatted with Aerosmith; paparazzi were shouting for me.
Growing up as a left-wing punk-rocker I had always decried celebrity culture.
Id revered people like Ian MacKaye, of Minor Threat and Fugazi, who had deliberately eschewed fame.
My normal existence was flat and filled with doubt, while this new life was magical.
Natalie was there, dancing with Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow.
In unison they raised their hands and smiled and cheered.
They were celebrating me, but I was a nothing.
My brief moment of rave fame had come and gone in the early 1990s.
Now it was 1999 and I was an insecure has-been, a wilting house plant of a human being.
But we kept playing, and the celebrities kept dancing and cheering.
he would have asked.
Youre buying into this celebrity bullshit?
Dont you know its all a facile celebration of commerce and mediocrity?
And I would have said, But look, theres Natalie Portman, and shes being nice to me.
Excerpted from THEN IT FELL APART by Moby.
Used with permission from Faber & Faber.
Copyright 2019 by Moby.
