Gold gets some long overdue backstory, and everything is set on fire
Hola,Once-lers!
Im Hillary Busis, certified fairy tale aficionado and your new recapper as well as EWs once and futureOUATlive-blogger.
(Dare I dream of aOnce/Shrekcrossover event?)
Credit: Jack Rowland/ABC
ThisHunger Games-esque conscription is enforced by a team of sneering knights who serve a wicked duke.
Who happens to be 13 years and 362 days old.
Meanwhile, in Storybrooke, Emma pays a visit to Mr. Gold.
The quietly scary dude is passing the time by brushing some stuff withlanolin, as you do.
Maines got some weird laws.
Before you know it, you lose them.And the cats in the cradle, and the Ogre Wars… (Bummer that hes sorta right.)
Am I wrong for liking Cynical Broken Henry more than Relentlessly Cheery Henry?
Emma has bigger things to worry about than Henrys shattered spirit.
Can someone hey make that series immediately?
Anyway meow meow, Emma and Regina have their first catfight of the year.
Everybody take a sip.
Their encounter ends with Regina firing Emma altogether and snatching away the shiny sheriff badge.
Girl has got to invest in some Krav Maga classes or something.
Suddenly, theres a knock at the door.
Gold has a proposition for Emma: He wants to help her fight against Regina by becoming her benefactor.
Ooh, its like when Spike helped the Scoobies at the end of Season 2!
(SeeBeauty and the Beast.
No, really, see it!Its in 3D!)
And then the pair comes across something even scarier than Dourifs dirty beggar: Sir Hordor and his crew.
The main knight dismounts and realizes he knows Rumpelstiltskin.
Alas, Rumpel doesnt win any points for bravery after what happens next.
And then Rump does, only to get savagely kicked in the face for his trouble.
This might be the most devastating scene inOncethus far.
He says he wants to become Rumpels benefactor.
Methinks the beggar doesnt understand that generally, benefactors have money.
will soon be the towns new sheriff.
But not so fast!
Meaning that before Sidney gets the badge, hes going to have to beat Emma in a fair election.
Fairyback: Rumpel feeds the beggar at his cottage, bemoaning his fate.
But the beggar believes Rump doesnt have to sit back and let Baelfire be stolen.
Sounds like childs play, right?
After Regina and Gold have their weekly confrontation, Emma finds herself lower than ever.
Geez, Henry, what will it take to just you?
Im not getting into bed with anyone, Emma answers.
Im just fighting fire with…. FIRE!
Nothing like an instance of heroism to bolster your chances in a local election, right?
But Emma realizes that theres something fishy about this fire.
In fact, the whole thing stinks just like Mr. Golds odoriferous lanolin.
(A sentence I never thought I would write.)
She confronts the pawn shop owner and accuses him of starting the fire.
He couldnt have just had her rescue a few kittens in trees, or something?
I guess just sneaking in and grabbing it would have been too subtle.
He races into the woods, thrusting the dagger aloft and calling out Zoso the Dark Ones true name.
So wait, maybe youshouldntever give beggars money.
Fairy tales have conflicting lessons!
My life was such a burden.
Youll see magic always comes with a price.
And now its yours to pay, he says before expiring.
And then Rumpelstiltskins own name appears on the dagger in Zosos place.
As the stunned crowd takes in her confession, Gold gets up and slowly limps out of the room.
(Side note: Ruby, for the love of Granny, just put on some pants!)
Soon enough, shes not alone Henry appears, and hes carrying one of Grahams old walkie talkies.
Her honesty has inspired him to throw away his cynicism and re-embrace Operation Cobra.
(And boo.)
And as it turns out, most of the townspeople think just like Henry.
Shes also officially earned that sheriffs badge.
Our final fairyback is an intense, effective little scene.
Hordor and his goons arrive at Rumpels cottage to take Baelfire.
Then he turns to Baelfire and hisses, Do you feel safe, son?
One word:Awesome.
And Mr. Golds last scene is a doozy as well.
He had a hunch she would out him, thus winning over the townspeople who fear him.
Im pumped, but itll also be pretty difficult to top tonights ep.
What did you think of Desperate Souls?
If he wasnt there already, has Rumpel/Gold officially become your favorite character?
And finally, did it bother anyone else that Baelfire didnt have an accent?
