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If two serial killers meet in the forest and nobody’s around, does the stabbing make a sound? And this week, first thing, we find out why. Like so many creepy criminal romances, it all goes back to aerobics. NO REUSE EXCEPT WHAT TO WATCH 10/01/19American Horror Story: 1984 | Season 9 Ep. 3: Slashdance Preview | FX (screen grab)Cody Fern as Xavier Plympton and Billie Lourd as Montana Dukehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvcXAiidMiwCR: FX.FX...

Familiar faces from AHS seasons past make this episode extra-haunted. Whither the witches ofCoven, the lunatics ofAsylum, the latex demons ofMurder House?! Well, wonder no more! NO REUSE EXCEPT WHAT TO WATCH 10/01/19American Horror Story: 1984 | Season 9 Ep. 3: Slashdance Preview | FX (screen grab)Cody Fern as Xavier Plympton and Billie Lourd as Montana Dukehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvcXAiidMiwCR: FX.FX Unfortunately, her older boy, Benjamin (sidenote: as in, Jingles?) Benjamin is suddenly an only child and his mother blames… well, everyone, actually....

The next surprise addition to the still-growingAmerican Horror Storycinematic universe has been unveiled:Macaulay Culkin. Murphy made the announcement with an expectedly cryptic video announcement on Wednesday over social media. The theme, the reveal for which is always made a viral affair, is still hush-hush. Rachel Luna/FilmMagic; Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic (2) Worth noting that Ross continues to make history. Now, it would appear shes got three. I enjoy being on set, he said....

The actor gave EW his favorite episodes over his 8-season run on the series. This particular episode also introduced Jimmy’s unique skill of pleasuring local women with his lobster-esque hands. In lieu of flan for dessert, the murderous attendees murder an innocent victim at the table. FX Also, Lady Gaga, and Chloe Sevigny in a beret! He also gets bonus points for pulling off blue hair. Michael Yarish/FX FX Everett Collection...

Ryan was extra haunting in this episode, right? My favorite of his voice-overs was positively Randy-esque in its utter inability to advance the plot. Inside, the judges are awaiting the next victim in the chair. Aww, it was like capital punishment, but for minors. Has Lauren Alainas fire gone out? Will Jordan Dorsey live to regret Hollywood Week? Will Jordan Dorsey live, period? He just cant do it! The man hasso many facesand yet none suitable for poker....

(Yep, as expected, there are fewer than 10 of you out there.) (Sorry, haters, Im not volunteering for that kamikaze mission.) Its weird, my current lack of fighting spirit. Credit: Lewis Jacobs/NBC (Et tu, Hostbot?) But as Brooke White always liked to remind us, Its okay.Its okay. (Clickhereto read Adams Q&As with both Davids.) Okay, but enough waffling. Im paid to have an opinion. So cue up theRockytheme and lets discuss round 1, better known as Clives Choice!...

Ryan Seacrest made his usual entrance via the Adam Lambert Memorial Staircase. Maybe it was Simon declaring the season 8 race as the most open competition in show history. Yes, folks, weve reached the homestretch ofAmerican Idolseason. Credit: Frank Micelotta/Fox That it turned out to be the latter option was really no great surprise. For all his talent and growing likability, this never really seemed like Matts competition to win....

You cant actually adopt him. Hes always got a kerchief or knit cap on his head! And the leather cuffs! Did you see the leather cuffs? How about the scraggly facial hair? Heres a close-up of his bandanna: It says, Heal the sick, raise the dead. Only a rocker would wear that, okay? Anyway, who cares how much rock cred Robbies got? (Side note: Paulas first ballet recital was set to Moon River....

I shed a couple tears at the end of tonights episode ofAmerican Idol. Not that I ever had any illusions she might win this thing or even crack the top three. And yet, as in most doomed relationships, I simply didnt know how to quit Carly Smithson. Ah, well, at least well always have Crazy on You. And I Drove All Night. And Come Together, Blackbird, and Here You Come Again....

B. Kris Allen swiped some nailpolish off the top of Adams dresser. C. Simon upgraded from bargain-store undershirt to an elegant, tailored suit. D. Randy was the least annoying member of the judges panel. Credit: Frank Micelotta/Fox(2) E. Ryans play-by-play included the exclamation: Paulas just punched Simon in the left breast. (Simon never wears a suit until the season finale! Was there a slight yet certain disturbance in Glamberts swagger?...

How else can you explain her finish behind faltering contestants Michael Sarver and Scott MacIntyre? Come on, Cowell & Co! This is the same girl you compared to Kelly Clarkson just weeks ago! Credit: Michael Becker/American Idol/Getty Images I present to my version of theIdolresults night song, dedicated to Alexis. So Ill just stop there. Why do you do this to me? then the group performance certainly did the trick....

The Hollywood Week previews look AMAZING. So deliciously trashy and intense. That is some face. Credit: Fox Dont worry, Quaid insists he has an amazing work ethic and is as green as they come. Welcome toAmazing American Work Ethic. Even cuter than their double reunion-hug? Well, thats part of it, too. She shouldnt have worn that hat! Tyler Gurwiczwould like to Set Fire to the Rain… via ONLY HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!...

In other words,America, what were you thinking? Still, for every Chikezie fan on our message boards, you could also find a detractor. He sings with more soul than Chikezie and any other singer in season 7. I think Chikezie should go. And some readers never warmed to the way this weeks bootee sassed back to the judges. I didnt care for Chikezies snarky apology for singing to the crowd, said Darren72....