He follows her, closing the door behind him.
Down a few steps in the kitchen, his mother Lorraine is peeling off a pair of rubber gloves.
They come back separately.
Daisy Edgar-Jones and Paul Mescal as Marianne and Connell.Enda Bowe/Hulu
Then she starts unclipping her hair.
Marianne did pretty good too.
And then we’ll be off.
Marianne says.She’s hold out the jar of chocolate spread.
In school he and Marianne affect not to know each other.
What did you get in German?An A1, she says.
Are you bragging?You’re going to get six hundred, are you?She shrugs.
You probably will, she says.Well, you’re smarter than me.Don’t feel bad.
I’m smarter than everyone.Marianne is grinning now.
She exercises an open contempt for people in school.
She has no friends and spends her lunchtimes alone reading novels.
A lot of people really hate her.
Her father died when she was thirteen and Connell has heard she has a mental illness now or something.
It’s true she is the smartest person in school.
She wears ugly thick-soled flat shoes and doesn’t put makeup on her face.
People have said she doesn’t shave her legs or anything.
That’s a popular story about her, everyone has heard it.
If she wanted, she could make a big show of saying hello to Connell in school.
See you this afternoon, she could say, in front of everyone.
But she has never done it.What were you talking to Miss Neary about today?
I don’t know.
Exams.Marianne twists the spoon around inside the jar.Does she fancy you or something?
Marianne says.Connell watches her moving the spoon.
His ears still feel very hot.Why do you say that?
he says.God, you’re not having an affair with her, are you?Obviously not.
He rubs at his neck.
Miss Neary teaches Economics.
His supposed feelings for her are widely discussed in school.
But I actually don’t, at all.
What if, at some level above or below his own perception, he does actually desire her?
He doesn’t even really know what desire is supposed to feel like.
He lies there afterward and thinks: I hated that so much that I feel sick.
Is that just the way he is?
How would he know?I could go to Mr. Lyons for you if you want, says Marianne.
I won’t say you told me anything, I’ll just say I noticed it myself.Jesus, no.
He can hear Marianne laughing.
It’s a face like a piece of technology, and her two eyes are cursors blinking.
Or it’s reminiscent of the moon reflected in something, wobbly and oblique.
It expresses everything all at once, which is the same as expressing nothing.
To wear makeup for this occasion would be, she concludes, embarrassing.
he says.Out.Where’s out?She puts her arms through the sleeves of her coat and adjusts the collar.
Instead he says: What are you doing that for?What?
she says.This weird smile you’re doing.He mimics her face, contorted into an ugly grin, teeth bared.
Alan walks after her.
He grabs her by the upper arm and tugs her back from the door.
She feels her jaw tighten.
I’m just going out for a walk now.
Thank you.He releases her and she slips out through the patio door, closing it behind her.
Outside the air feels very cold and her teeth start to chatter.
She walks around the side of the house, down the driveway and out into the street.
Her arm is throbbing where he grabbed it.
Finally she sends it: On my way.
Before she puts the phone back, she receives a reply: cool see you soon.
Marianne had never seen them play before.
She had no interest in sport and suffered anxiety related to physical education.
Out the window: black cattle, green meadows, white houses with brown roof tiles.
All she knew was that when it started, she wouldn’t need to imagine it anymore.
It stayed dry for the match.
They had been brought there for the purpose of standing at the sidelines and cheering.
Marianne was near the goalposts, with Karen and some of the other girls.
By half-time it was still nil-all, and Miss Keaney handed around boxes of juice and energy bars.
Connell Waldron was the center forward.
He had very good posture, more so than any of the other players.
His figure was like a long elegant line drawn with a brush.
Everyone screamed, even Marianne, and Karen threw her arm around Marianne’s waist and squeezed it.
They were cheering together, they had seen something magical which dissolved the ordinary social relations between them.
Miss Kearney was whistling and stamping her feet.
On the pitch Connell and Aidan embraced like reunited brothers.
Connell was so beautiful.
It would be beautiful just to watch him.
Marianne’s classmates all seem to like school so much and find it normal.
They have no sense of the school as an oppressive environment.
You’re not learning if you’re staring out the window daydreaming, Mr. Kerrigan said.
But I see what you’re saying, Connell added.
About feeling a bit imprisoned at the school, I do see that.
He should have let you look out the window, I would agree there.
You weren’t doing any harm.
Marianne never asked why he came over.
They talked a little bit, or she talked and he nodded.
I know whatThe Communist Manifestois called, she said.
He shrugged, okay.
She had to laugh then, and he laughed because she did.
Connell seemed to understand how she felt about school; he said he liked hearing her opinions.
You hear enough of them in class, she said.
Matter-of-factly he replied: You act different in class, you’re not really like that.
He seemed to think Marianne had access to a range of different identities, between which she slipped effortlessly.
