Hiram is back, yall.
But well get there.
First, we have to deal with more of this Archie vs. Dodger business.
Credit: Dean Buscher/The CW
So its no surprise when they show up one day and find the community centers been trashed.
Well, at least its no surprise to everyone except Reggie.
precious Reggie asks, completely oblivious to everything thats been going on.
Arch calls FP, who promises to put a night patrol on Sketch Alley.
But when FP raids the arcade in hopes of catching Dodger, he fails.
It seems Dodger is a little too good at keeping his hands clean.
Dodger knows that Archie is the masked vigilante running around town, a sentence that still makes me laugh.
HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION, REGGIE?!
How do you not know who Dodger is??
Its then that Archie realizes its time for him to get his hands dirty … sort of.
With Hiram out of prison, Archie gets an idea.
After turning down Hirams offer of a blank check, Archie asks him to help with the Dodger situation.
Together, they call an ambulance.
Also happening with Hiram?
As Phoebe Buffay would say, He uses sex as a weapon!
You know, because tying someone up is the same as MURDER!!
Dont fall for it Hermione!
His abs are great, but living is better!!
But spoiler: She really likes his abs.
Elsewhere, Cheryl is dealing with the haunting of Thistlehouse.
It seems shes even been staying home from school to protect Nana Rose and the babies from Julians ghost.
which brought me so much joy.
Cheryl then snaps and orders them to leave, which only makes them curious.
(She did it in the chapel with a candlestick!)
If I were her, Id kind of side with Cheryls family?
This dead brother thing has gone on too long!
But well deal with that, hopefully, later.
And how does he solve it?
you could tell so much by syntax!!
And Jug claims that theres a clear difference between the writing in the first book and books 2-5.
Mr. DuPont supposedly wrote the first five but what if … Jugs grandfather wrote the first one?!
Mr. Chipping, however, seems willing to help.
He agrees that the syntax is all the proof they need its SO obvious!!!
(I mean, did you see the differences in syntax?!)
Theres a lot to unpack here guys.
Who kills themselves by swan diving out a window?!
I fully dont believe that glass wouldve broken.
But all that aside, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
That feels like such an odd way to kill someone.
Then theres the fact that the rest of Jugs classmates didnt flinch when it happened??
Does this happen a lot at this school?
Or are we going to find out these kids are robots?
Aaand to wrap up that story: Mr. DuPont is the new teacher, so sucks to be Jug.
As for Betty, shes dealing with the Charles of it all.
(So clearly they watchedBreaking Bad.
Or maybe didnt.)
Also on the polygraph, Charles claims that his big secret is that hes a recovering addict.
But well get to that.)
After Bettys visit to Chic, Chic tells the cops about the man Alice murdered in the kitchen.
Furthermore, he tells the cops where to find the body.
Thankfully, FP and Charles are there to take care of it, and together they move the body.
And after Charles does THAT, Betty decides hes trustworthy.
Theyre in this together and theyre LOVERS!!!
Now THIS is the kind of ridiculousness I want from this show.
