Its Spirit Week at the school, the week leading up to the big state championship football game!
Okay, hold on.
That might be the most unrealistic thingRiverdales ever done.
Riverdale — “Chapter Sixty-Seven: Varsity Blues” — Image Number: RVD410a_0471.jpg — Pictured (L-R): Lili Reinhart as Betty, Charles Melton as Reggie, Eli Goree as Munroe and KJ Apa as Archie — Photo: Jack Rowand/The CW– © 2020 The CW Network, LLC All Rights Reserved.Jack Rowand/The CW
Sports is like the ONE THING public schools have over private schools!
DONT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM THEM!
But of course, theres a catch: The Stallions are good because they cheat.
Ive honestly never wanted to punch a fictional character in the face so bad.
He explains that football is social Darwinism in uniforms.
According to Bret, Football is a sport of gladiators and you win by debilitating and slaughtering your enemies.
So its official: The only thing worse than jocks talking about football is intellectuals talking about football.
Does he think hes a god?
Ultimately, Archies uncle picks him up from jail after the fight, which brings us to Frank!
But things eventually get complicated with Frank, as they always do.
(One note: Frank claims that Monroe is a grown man and he is NOT.
Hes literally in high school and probably barely 18.
That is all.)
Speaking of the game, we should talk about the Vixens.
Cheryl has them go on strike, at least until Honey threatens to ban them from prom.
However, their musical number isnt good enough to cheer the Bulldogs to victory.
Are these the worst teams in history?!
THATS ONE TOUCHDOWN A PIECE.
What has been happening this whole time?!
Anyway, the Bulldogs lose when they dont land a two-point conversion and its less than exciting.
While all of this has been going on, Veronicas been doing what she does best fighting with Hiram.
Who would buy rum from a child!?
Well, not many people get the chance before Hiram delivers a cease and desist.
It seems a chemist compared their rums and decided the recipes are too similar.
But by episodes end, she gets an idea: Combine her rum with the Blossom maple syrup!
Also, at some point during the football game, she keys Hirams car I guess?
She should know by now that Reggies epic revenge plans are anything but epic.
DuPont claims his friend is the recruiter and that he slipped him some of Jugs stories.
THIS IS NOT HOW COLLEGE HAPPENS, KIDS!!!
So somehow Betty got in?
Im still very confused about all of this.
He says not doing anything to help is his greatest shame, a story he hasnt even told Betty.
I weirdly dont feel like its even remotely the darkest story he has, but well go with it.
Overall, it was a fairly uneventful episode back.
