Heres the good news about this weeksSurvivorrecap: There will be no test at the end.
Nor will you have to name which branch of the military I have served in.
(TRICK QUESTION!)
Credit: Michele Crowe/CBS Entertainment
I cant emphasize this point enough.
at the top of your lungs, and get your game face back on.
How do we know Jamals game face wasnoton?
Lets take a little quiz.
I thinkSurvivoris a slow burn.D) All of the above.
If you guessed D, then congratulations!
Clearly, you watched an episode ofSurvivor!There are so many things wrong with each of those statements.
Such blasphemy rarely goes unpunished.
Then, taking a nap before Tribal Council?
Napping while others are scrambling to save themselves?
And Jamal was clearly wrong about playing in first gear.Hewasnt even playing in first gear.
He was playing in neutral.
But I will never sleep on the job, ladies & gentlemen.
So lets recap the rest of this sucker starting with…
This Preview Has Been Approved For All Audiences by theSurvivorAssociation of AmericaWhat the hell just happened?
I sit down to watchSurvivorand I notice four things.
Thing 1: I forgot to open a beer.
Survivor is so much better with beer.
What is wrong with me?
Thing 2: There are no opening credits.
No surprise here, as they havent used them for years at this point.
So lets move on to Thing 3: No Previously on… segment.
Now, this is very odd.
But they figured wrong!
Are we peering into the future?
Will we be seeing this all season?
I asked Jeff Probst exactly that inour weekly Q&Aso you could check there for his answer.
Dont know if it will work, but a valiant attempt on Missys part.
But what is up with Vinces mini-temper tantrum?
Dude, you got two votes from the people you were voting against.
you should probably make like Queen Elsa and let it go.
Speaking of queens, look at Chelsea!
Will she now have the strength not to blab about her idol find?
Only time will tell.
(See, that was my own little flash-forward.
But we notice at the start of the episode why that is.
She thinks her tribe is lazy.
They need to be loading up on firewood!
Predictably, this does not go over particularly well.
The biggest rift is acting like between Noura and Molly, who now want each other out.
What, is someone also going to start comparingSurvivorto chess?
(Actually, yes.
LOOK, ANOTHER FLASH-FORWARD!!!!)
She just needs to calm herself, find her moment of Zen, and channel her inner Coach.
And thats exactly what she does, leading the tribe in a yoga session complete with loads of Ommmmmming.
Iron sharpens iron, Noura!
Slay all the dragons not with your first, but with yourmind!
Kellee doesnt know what to expect as she arrives.
I wonder what Cochran thinks about that.
Then again, we dont have to wonder.
This weeks morsel comes from the chapter titled, yes, Pay Attention.
Heres what The Robfather has to say about that:
You cant always believe what you see.
But if you pay attention, its easy to distinguish between a genuine smile and a fake one.
Just pull out some old family photos and youll see what I mean.
Liars are easy to spot, too.
They usually seem nervous or fidgety and have a hard time looking you in the eye.
I mean, yeah.
Seems pretty elementary, but okay.
Hes notwrong, certainly.
I would never advise people tonotpay attention.
Anyway, lets hope BRs lesson to Kellee is a little more incisive.
And it is time for the lesson.
Maybe Im giving her too much credit, but I think Kellee had this one figured out.
Which would also explain why she nails the quiz that comes after.
I dont think Kellee was haggling or negotiating when she turned down the first offer.
I think she was just scared to lose her vote.
But Boston Rob twisted her arm with the new offer, and she ended up benefiting because of it.
But how would she get that idol back into camp past her suspicious tribemates?
But winning an idol certainly complicates matters because you dont want anyone knowing you have it.
They did it before onGhost Island.
(Just ask JP.)
The other tribemates, of course, do not.
Not sure if weve ever seen that before.
But again, does she possess the willpower to keep it a secret?
The Legend of the FallGod, I love watching people fall down.
Cant get enough of it.
The only thing better than watching people fall down is watching dudes get hit in the crotch.
This challenge is pretty damn cool.
Thank God nobody got hurt.
But they didnt, so I dont.
So many people to root for this season.
Much better casting overall than season 38.
Lauren saw there was a power trio running the show, and she wasnt a part of it.
So with both boldness and precision, Lauren set out to completely flip the tribe.
There are dangers in taking this course of action, of course.
For one thing, what if people dont go for it and now you just blew up your spot?
Now people know youre a serious player and a serious threat.
How many times have we saluted the hunter, only to watch them then become the hunted?
Had I been on Vokai, I would have immediately gone with Laurens plan.
But I also would have added her name in bold letters to my hit list.
Theres no hiding for Lauren anymore.
Of course, Noura and Jason are ecstatic about this latest development.
In fact, Nouras got ants in her pants and she needs to dance.
(The video below still makes me so uncomfortable, I cant even handle it.)
The vote essentially seems to come down to Tommy and Kellee.
I mean, what the hell do I know?
Im basing this on a few minutes of air time, but thats what Im picking up from them.
So which way will they go?
At Tribal Council, a really bizarre debate breaks out over how hard people are playing.
Jamal says they are playing in first gear, while Lauren says its actually fourth.
(My sincere apologies to those who have already expunged the memory ofBig Brother21 from their minds.)
Watching from their Tribal Council spy shack, Rob and Sandra seem impressed.
Dang, they played her ass, sighs the Queen.
The truth is, I also feel kind of bad about retroactively jinxing the recipient of my award.
Most of you know the history.
I actually picked the winner in three straight seasons!
The problem is, those seasons were numbers 13 through 15.
I have not gotten one right since.
Ive had others that were ousted early (thanks, Betsy Bolan!).
Ive picked the right winner in the wrong season (damn you, Jeremy Collins).
But no correct champion guesses in the past 23 seasons and counting.
Tommy seems like a smart guy and a nice guy and a physical guy.
A true potential triple threat.
In any event, Tommy is the selection, for better or for worse.
(Who are we kidding?
Okay, Tommys chances of winning may now be done, but we are far from it.
Weve got an exclusive deleted scene from last nights episode above.
We also haveour weekly Q&Awith the Hostmaster General, Jeff Probst.
And for moreSurvivorscoop, you might follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
Were you temporarily confused by the flash-forward intro to the episode?
Impressed by Laurens move to change the game?
Humored to watch the ladder keep falling?
Sad to see Molly go?
Hit the message boards to weigh in and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
