He seemed like the guy with the brains, brawn, and social skills to go all the way.
Until about halfway through this episode, that is.
And then I was done with him.
Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS
Why, you ask?
Nothing inherently wrong with that.
But it was hisreasonfor wanting to align with J.T.
that was so infuriating.
It wasnt to get himself farther, it was to get J.T.
Brendan realized that he couldnt beat J.T.
in the finals, but wanted to bring him there anyway!
If he wins it, thats like me winning this game.
No, its not.
Its a freakin reality TV show where theyre giving away money, not ethics 101!
You dont care, Brendan?
Than neither do we.
Just to be absolutely clear IlikeBrendan.
But having sleepless nights worrying about How do I get J.T.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
I cant even express how frustrating that was to hear.
But you know what the good news is?
(Hows that for a truly ass-backward inspirational motto?)
Ive heard this story before.
The dude is totally ripping off Lilliput!
You seriously expect them (and us) to believe that you were attacked by Peruvian dwarfs?
Again, Peruvian dwarfs!
But you know what the most unlikely part of the entire story was?
When he added that National Geographic wanted to follow him on his adventure but he turned them down.
Coach saying no to cameras?
NEXT: Why Coach should win…seriously
Coach has become pure comedy at this point.
And I went on listing all the reasons why he was so hateful.
But you know what?
And do you know what my big mistake was?
It was the mistake of taking Coach seriously as a human being.
The guy is a cartoon character and can really only be considered as such.
And, as a result, Im actually rooting for the guy to win now!
(Other than the entire first season ofParadise Hotel, of course.)
Seriously, imagine the speech hed give.
Imagine the hilarious new nicknames hed bestow upon himself.
Coach is suddenly money.
Another clip of him meditating alongside soaring birds and ancient eastern music?
Him discussing how you wont find Chong Ram (sp?)
on Google because its only passed down verbally?
His Tribal Council claim that the attacking natives wanted to eat my ass?
Thats the whole U.S. Mint right there.
Coach actually showed surprising restraint in only referring to himself as that 387 times this hour.
Sooooo, does that mean that if you vote her out next you will be the Dragon S Slayer?
Not quite as catchy.
Might want to think of a new name for Sierra.
In non-Coach related news, Erinn spent some time down by the water with J.T.
trying to bond and make an alliance with the good ol southern boy.
In fact, everyone on Timbira wants a piece of J.T.
Talk about being belle of the ball!
And it was pretty much the same deal back on Jalapao: Everyone wanted a piece of J.T.
What sort of sick mojo is this guy packin?
and Brendan were upset that everyone was breaking their teams tiles.
Whys everyone going after the black team?
We all knew what to expect next.
it’s possible for you to only learn it by studying at a monastery.
(Oh yeah, congrats on making fire while stranded by yourself, Stephen.
Janu would be very proud of you.)
The contestants were threaded to a rope on an obstacle course.
First three through make it to stage 2.
First one through the second stage wins the whole thing.
Youtotallyare the Dragon Slayer.
You slay, man.
You slay!Yes!
Wanna be my Assistant Dragon Slayer?
There was a smorgasbord of strategizing going on back at camp after the challenge.
and Stephen to join him in ousting Coach.
Basically, everyone thought they were blindsiding everyone else.
Wait, what happened to the Dragon Slayer?
Everyone will get confused.
Thats just poor marketing skills is what that is.
Just his last in a long line of mistakes.
Go toMust List Live!to win and hang out with geek royalty.
Okay, did Brendan disappoint you in the end as much as he did me?
and Stephen pick the right side to align with?
And is Coach the most positively ludicrous reality contestant ever?
The message boards are open for business.
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