The cocky Tyson revels in making Sierra’s life miserable, but who’s laughing in the end?
I want to be clear about two things.
The first is this: Im no Sierra fan.
Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS
I seriously cannot recall a player (outside of maybe G.C.)
who just looked so consistently miserable.
The second thing Id like be clear about is that Im no Tyson hater.
But the guywasentertaining, played challenges hard, and strategized even harder.
He may have turned you off with his antics and LOOK AT ME!
So again, to recap: Dont love Sierra and dont hate Tyson.
Tyson, remember when you wanted Sierra to admit how badass it was when you blindsided Brendan?
Well this, my friend, was 10 times more badass.
Thats what happens when you act like Gods gift to reality television.
She looked even more shocked than he was by the vote.
But well get more into all of that later.
First, lets take it from the top.
The episode began with surprise, surprise Sierra acting depressed.
(Uhhhhh, Coach, didnt you tell Brendan and Sierra that you were voting out J.T?
Thats not exactly telling the truth, now is it?)
In love and war, its kill or be killed, explained Coach.
In love it is kill or be killed?
The title:Loveline with Dr. Coach.
Heres a taste:
Hello, youre on with Dr. Coach, the love doctor.
What can I help you with today?
Oh, hey, Coach.
Longtime viewer, first time caller.
What should I do?
Excuse me?!?
You heard me kill her.
Its an ancient Samurai code to kill any woman you have any attraction to whatsoever.
Oh, and dont bother Googling it.
Its passed down verbally but not by women, because the Samurai killed them all.
Uh, I dont think I want to kill her.
Plus, wont that land me in jail?
Unfortunately, I learned to love the tribe…so I had to kill them.
WITH MY EYES!!!
(Im currently in discussions with Jeff Conaway about a cameo.)
Tyson went on about how lame she was and how he cant imagine her boyfriend is that cool.
I dont think youre the mastermind.
I dont think youre smart enough for it.
Im gonna be straight up 100 percent honest right now.
Youre the next to go and theres nothing it’s possible for you to do to change that.
On second thought, lets not!
The reward challenge was simply too boring, with people retrieving boards and putting together a puzzle.
All that life experience not helping you out here.
The reward feast (where Debbie, Erinn, Tyson, and J.T.
went and saw some martial arts dancing) wasnt much more exciting.
See ya, suckers!
Back at Forza, Sierra was continuing with her one-person pity party.
Honestly, this was frustrating to watch.
Im done with fighting.
Im done with everyone.
Oooooh, no one understands me, boo-hoo!
Fine, Sierra, but theres a big difference between fighting for your life and whining for it.
Oh, lord, I think Im gonna make like Erinn and vomit if this keeps up.
Lets just get to the immunity challenge.
Theres nothing better than aSurvivorchallenge in the pouring rain.
On the other hand, theres not much worse than aSurvivorchallenge that involves…shuffleboard?
(Way to get younger, CBS!
Whats next, a Bridge tournament?
A sprint to the early bird specials?)
shocked me in choosing pizza over an opportunity for immunity.
Memo to Coach: Noble warriors do not forgo competition for a slice of pepperoni!
Not that youd win.
But still, get in the game!
Her celebration was short-lived however, as Debbie knocked Sierra out and earned the immunity necklace.
(You mean like you pretty much this entire season?)
When this discussion first went down, I was 99 percent positive it was a red herring.
For his part, Coach was also sure his new alliance would hold tight.
Oh, this was good.
In so many ways.
(Nobody does, replied Tyson.)
Probst: And then you voted out Brendan.
Coach: I will explain this to you.
Probst: Im sure you will.
Coach: Because Brendan pitted himself against me.
Probst: I thought thats what you wanted.
I outsmarted him, I outfoxed him.
And, at the moment, sorry to say, Im outleading him.
Annnnnnnnnd…scene.He just had to get the outleading bit in there, didnt he?
It was all a big pissing contest to him.
And Coach had a warning for anyone else who tried to cross him.
Last week I slayed the dragon.
This week I had to take care of his bride.
Good night, sweet princess.
Wait, Im confused.
So the princess was married to a dragon?
Or the princess is a dragon herself?
What kind of princess are we talking about here?
Deep stuff, Sierra.
Seriously, if you have that on your DVR, go back right now and rewatch it.
A work of art.
Almost as amazing was the fact that Sierra was clearly as shocked as Tyson was.
He was entertaining, and never more so than in the way he was kicked out of the game.
Im very much looking forward to having Tyson onSurvivor Talkwhich will be up on Friday afternoon.
In the meantime, you’re able to check out this weeks exclusive deleted scene below.
I know, its a tough call.
Sound off in the message boards.
See ya next week!
[Sorry, video not available]
