Its been a few months.
How was your summer?
I didnt do much.
Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS
Grew my hair out.
Got made fun of for growing my hair out.
Oh, and thats right,went to freakin Africa!Didnt go for myself, mind you.
Rather, I went for you, dear reader.
Went to bring you deep inside the production we all know and love calledSurvivor.
), and see where the contestants stay before the game starts?
And my apologies in advance for that one shirtless shot of me in there.
But were not done with just that.
Thats the good news.
The bad news is that you better make it through my inane ramblings first.
But much like Led Zeppelin, Im ready to ramble on.
So lets do it!
We saw chimps, buffalo, gorillas.
But you know what?
I dont blame them.
So after getting through the gratuitous nature porn, we finally started the game.
The whole thing seemed to go on forever.
Something youdidsee on screen, however, was some seriously awful tribe selections.
Thats because I needed to pee and there wasnt exactly a bathroom handy.
But another word went through my mind as well: Palau.
It appeared we could be on the verge of another tribal annihilation like we saw back in season 10.
Let me tell you my favorite part about this challenge watching Probst book it up the hill.
Dude ran up there so fast I thought Howie Mandel was chasing him with a great Emmy hosting idea.
(Oh, I kid cause I love.
Seriously though, congrats to Jeff for winning the reality hosting Emmy.
We all knew he deserved it.
The fact that the Academy voters did as well is very cool.)
So Fang had their asses handed to them.
Say, Gillian, whats the African word for sorry-ass losers?
Do they have a word for that?
(Again, I kid cause I love.
Only this time, without the love.)
She picked it up with her bare hands.
She went all exhibitionist on us, asking You want to see my elephant dung?
But thats the biggest difference right there between Kota and Fang.
That makes them interesting.
But it also makes them not very good at this game.
It was no surprise, then, that they were smoked yet again.
(Not to mention got sucked.
My boy Gordon from Comcast got a big ol nasty leech on his leg.
Hes not the only one to attract a bloodsucker.
I know Charlie got a few leeches in the first few days from being in the water.
Maybe Marcus helped him remove them.
Inner circle, baby!)
He really went after them for being so obviously rudderless.
I cant even break 150 pounds!)
He hammered them relentlessly about needing to pick a leader until G.C.
finally agreed to take the title.
A title he would keep for, oh, about two days.
(I actually dont blame him.
I would never want to be a tribe leader.
Although, come to think of it, maybe Ken should have agreed to be the leader.
Hell take any kiss he can get.)
So Michelle, the last player picked, was the first sent home.
And thats the end of our very firstSurvivor: GabonTV watch.
Thanks a lot for reading, everyone!
Ill see you next week, and in the meantime ensure to….Huh?
Theres a whole other hour?
Ive already gone on for over 1,300 words!
How much more can I say?
Okay, were going into lightning mode, people.
Charlie kept crushing on Marcus.
Marcus compared their relationship to an onion.
Randy decided to sit back and watch his tribemates self-destruct.
It didnt help them.
Dan read the clue that told him to search across the lake, so Dan proceeded to searchinthe lake.
(Were #2!
Were #2!)
Perhaps as a result, they didnt dump him, and sent Gillian home instead.
And theres hour 2 you!
First up is a video tour of the new tribal council set.
What does Jeff Probst do when he snuffs my torch and I refuse to leave?
press it below to find out.
This week he has some really interesting thoughts on Marcus especially.
(I think our host with the most might just be a little jealous!)
choose the linkhereto go check it out.
[Sorry, video not available]
