I went on record early.
Some people said Fire Tokens sounded dumb.
I said, No,YOUsound dumb!
Robert Voets/CBS
Okay, I didnt actually say that.
For one thing, Im not a third-grader.
For another, its not nice to call people dumb.
But the point is, I have always been on board with the concept.
I would do anything for a Fire Token.
I would wear pink undies throughout an entire season.
I would argue passionately that a guy named Fabio was the bestSurvivorwinner in the history of winners.
I would do anything for a Fire Token.
But not unlike the wise old sage known colloquially as Meat Loaf, I wont do that.
Can I ask you something?
WHY ARESURVIVORPRODUCERS TRYING TO KILL ETHAN ZOHN?!?
Jesus Christ, hasnt this guy been through enough already?
Get out of here with that garbage!
Any sort of medical intervention is always scary.
It cant end like this.
And thankfully, it didnt.
That sweet bastard got his ass back up.
And he started walking nay,crawling up the stairs to grab those last four logs.
It wasnt even about the stupid Fire Token anymore.
He had to finish it.
And, in the end, he did it.
Ethan said he would remember the day for the rest of his life.
AndSurvivorfans will remember this segment.
Its why Ethan is bigger than the game.
Hes the most inspirational figure inSurvivorhistory, and he just added another chapter to his incredible story.
(And you canread what he had to sayabout his collapse and comeback when I spoke with him.)
It was also a pretty incredible scene from another incredible episode.
I loved seeing the pain.
And, ultimately, the triumph.
Bravo to all involved: players, producers, and everyone else that had anything to do with it.
Okay, lets get to it.
Edge of Exhaustion
Ethan was not the only person suffering on the Quest for Fire (Tokens).
Here you get a Fire Token.
Major props to all of them for making it through that gauntlet of anguish.
Its strong, and I felt it in that moment, and it felt good.
I am glad for their bond, but I hate that it could impact the game at large.
Dont worry, Im not going on another anti-Edge rant.
I already promised you I was done with those for the season.
Thats why it needs to go.
Mea culpa
Super weird thing happened to me today.
Adam Klein called me up and offered to write mySurvivorrecap for me this week.
And thats not all.
The guy just wants to help in any way he can, people!
No way, Jose!
I mean, the man was castratedandpooped his pants for crying out loud.
Amends (not to mention a good cleaning crew) need to be the immediate priority.
And the best way to make nice is to be a good worker bee.
He did everything right.
And sometimes, that just doesnt matter.
Because sometimes youre playing with Boston Rob.
Even with Adams antics, Rob was sitting on the bottom with Parvati.
And people sitting on the bottom will do whatever it takes to move up the food chain.
Because he keeps coming up and talking to me.
Next thing we know, Michele and Jeremy wanted Adam out.
It was that easy.
One simple lie that Rob knew they would believe because Adam had been playing both sides all game.
A Breath of (Not So) Fresh Air
People onSurvivorare stinky.
They have no soap.
And the only option for oral hygiene at their disposal is homemade toothpicks.
He also should probably be remembering peoples names, especially a stealth assassin like Sophie.
And that put him in deep doo-doo like, an Adams pants level of doo-doo were talking about here.
But would he be able to clean himself off?
Like, you cued it up in your mind the second you saw this immunity challenge run.
You knew I would call the physical part window dressing.
Youve read the same script way too many times over 40 seasons.
But heres the thing that Ive always said.
It matters in the sense that the physical stages of any challenge are exciting to watch.
It may be window dressing, but its the best damn window dressing youve ever seen.
And thats exactly what happened.
The three in the boat then had to climb a tower and reach to grab keys in mid-air.
And therein laid the problem for the Sele tribe.
Plus, he had Tony yelling YA FALL!
at him for no particular reason.
This is a disaster for Sele!
This has become one of the biggest blowouts ever inSurvivor!
Of course, couldnt Adam have decided to do something a few jumps earlier?
There was no exception this week.
Excellent question, Jeff.
How could Dakal stumble that badly, especially with a guy who had already won on it?
Puzzle comebacks hardly ever shock me anymore.
But still, for Dakal to botch it so completely was stunning.
And Rob firmly regained his puzzle king crown.
Even those sitting on the newly-dedicated Sandra Bench would have to agree.
The Shield
Im a huge fan ofThe Shield.
What Imnottalking about is the strategy of keeping bigger targets in the game to protect yourself from elimination.
Im not saying that strategy doesnt work, Im just saying I dont like the aesthetics of it.
To me, the fun is taking out better players, not settling for the easy pickins.
And it seemed to work.
(Warning: Youre showing your age and love of 1980s hair care products if youget that reference.)
Before you’re free to scream FABERGE!
everyone was talking about how the big threats needed to band together.
Everyone, that is, except Sandra.
I should have seen it coming.
Its not really his fault.
First, Dakal took out Robs wife Amber.
Then Sele took out Robs alliance partner Ethan.
And now Dakal took out Robs BFF Tyson.
These arent strangers playing, and it shows.
Nick, whom Tyson just tried to get out.
I suppose he was simply not immune to the power of hero-worship flattery.
Still, that was a bit of a shocker.
But how great was that episode?
And how great is this season?
Firing on all levels, ladies and gentlemen.
Were four episodes in and every single one has been tremendous.
Can the show keep up this blistering pace or will it pull an Adam Klein and poop its pants?
Well keep our fingers crossed on that and crossed that Ethan has no more medical issues.
And my weeklyQ&A with Hostmaster General Jeff Probstis always worth a read.
You canread all about his brutal blindsideas well as hisEdge of Extinction medical scare.
I just wont do it for a measly Fire Token.
