Theyre all dead to me.
I mean, Jeremy is a nice guy with a nice family and he saves lives for a living.
So many reasons to like him.
And yet… DEAD!
But you know what?
The game tried repeatedly yet was unable to kill her.
I will now succeed where it failed, because… DEAD!
Honestly, how dare they?
And where do they get the nerve?
He kicked the living s out of cancer not once, buttwice.
The guy is a legend.
Yet these jabronis just kicked him to the curb.
at the top of my lungs.
Im hopping mad, people!
But heres the thing: This is why this season is so epic.
Also, Im pretty sure I dont need to use Fire Tokens to watch the show.
I can just turn on my TV.
Why are they instead targeting Parvati and Ethan?
And yet still nobody is taking a shot at the Robfather.
DO NOT KEEP ROB MARIANO AROUND!
Also, stop using the phrase meat shield.
It makes me vaguely uncomfortable.
Okay, lets get through some of the other big moments this week.
Anyway, I wish that show still existed, because Tony vs. the Shark would totally make the cut.
First off, a note about these small sharks in Fiji.
I guess Tony thought it was dead, although Im not entirely surewhyhe thought that.
Fire WomanAm I the only one that remembers that song Fire Woman from the Cult?
It was like a less amazing version of their best tune, She Sells Sanctuary.
Amber ran back and copied down the numbers written on crates by the sail.
But it didnt work.
And the it in question was a steal a vote advantage hidden at the other tribes camp.
Im not sure why she sent it to Sarah instead of Jeremy.
Maybe it was an over-aggressive Ash Wednesday thing?
Anyway, when it didnt work, they both decided to, yes, spit in it.
And, essentially, spit all over each other.
This was so astoundingly absurd and I loved every single second of it.
Someone sign these two knuckleheads up for a sitcom immediately.
Look, you dont need ash camouflage.
Just take the damn steal-a-vote.
Thats the thing to remember: There are always other people in the camp beside the players.
There are camera operators.
There are boom mic audio folks.
There are field producers.
Hell, sometimes evenImthere!
Its par for the course.
In any event, congrats to Sarah for pulling it off and to Natalie for getting another token.
Finished but Not DoneOh my Lord, that could have been an all-time greatSurvivormoment.
Sele took the lead, only for Dakal to wrestle it back.
I like Sarah and Sophie.
Strong and smart women who are hardcore gamers.
I AUTOMATICALLY ROOT FOR CHAOS!
IT IS MY DEFAULT SETTING!
I CANT HELP IT!
I know this makes me a terrible person.
But cmon, seriously that would have been amazing had Dakal won… and then still lost.
I cant be alone on this.
Sadly, Dakal got their fallen pieces back in and won the challenge.
Who the hell do you think you are anyway, Ben Cook Islandsera Jeff Probst!
There is some merit to that.
Unfortunately for Adam, this was not one of those important, helpful times.
Ethans reaction was to tell us that Adam made a silly mistake on his part.
Parvati is my No.
I trust her with my life.
And Boston Robs reaction?
Is this kid crazy?
I know hes seen me play on TV.
The entire thing was cringe-inducing to watch.
Had the events of season 39 not occurred, would producers have brought Richard Hatch back?
If so, good chance Adam is not on the beach.
Ultimately, thats what you want from aSurvivorplayer someone who drives story.
Even scenes that did not directly involve him werebecauseof him.
We know thats fake.
I know whats up.
I know the plan to blindside Parv.
And I loved it.
(The scene that is.
Not the backward tighty whities.)
Which is why they are now dead to me.
So yes, Ethan was blindsided.
The guy looked dazed and confused as he went up to have his torch snuffed.
Thats the cruelty ofSurvivor.
Well, not entirely gone.
