Well, that was a doozy.

Anyone else planning to hold their breath for a week straight?

As the penultimate episode, The Dying of the Light held an emotional gut punch.

And like the past few episodes, Im not sure how to feel about it yet…

Pushing up from the rubble of the now-exploded bunker, Murphy searches for Emori.

Raven and Jackson find him first, and then they hear someone coughing.

They pull back large chunks of cement to unveil Emori.

Shes alive, but she’s pinned in and has a giant rebar going through her abdomen.

Its just a scratch, she assures Murphy.

But unluckily/luckily, the tech doesnt work.

Hope predicts that someone on the other side probably has to draw people back with them.

In Bardo, the Shepherd gets news that the two chips have been used.

He says to leave them all there.

He has one priority: Madi.

She’s taken to Levitt and his M-Cap machine.

Shes nervous to sit in the chair, but he assures her that it wont hurt.

The Shepherd says to do whatever he has to do because objective No.

1 is finding the final code.

Madi points out that Jordan studied the Bardo texts and believes its a test, not a war.

But if not, hell be happy to spare everyone the pain of fighting and take the test himself.

Also thinking about the final test, Jordan tells everyone in the pit that hes sure of his translation.

When he was in the red sun toxin, he had a vision and knows it in his bones.

Okay, kid, sure.

Clarke isnt really into hearing about any of this she only cares about getting Madi back.

And thats when she realizes how many heart attacks she probably gave her own mother.

Shes feeling such pain she can barely breathe, and shes onlyimaginingwhats happening to Madi.

If she actually saw what happened, shedreallylose it.

The Shepherd sees memories of Callie and asks Levitt to push deeper.

She thrashes and fights the M-Cap.

The Shepherd brings in his guards to help keep her down.

And when Levitt hesitates about delving into her mind more, the Shepherd kicks him out.

In the pit, Clarke and Octavia disappear.

In the rec room, they tear everything apart.

Under the rug beneath the piano, they find a hand, an Azgeda symbol.

Jackson tries to tend to Emori, but she isnt faring well.

The ultimate survivor, Raven talks with Emori about the Ring.

In the choice between saving me or saving everyone, you choose everyone, Emori says.

Shes being selfless and its honorable but Raven isnt having it.

Just as Murphy hits the stone with his sledgehammer, Emori stops breathing.

Jackson starts compressions while Raven helps Murphy uncover the stone.

Jumping didnt work out so well for Clarke and Octavia.

They end up surrounded by Disciples, who put them straight into a cell next to Sheidheda.

Luckily, they dont have to stay there long.

Levitt sneaks his way in and hopes they have a plan.

Isnt this your specialty?

Clarke says the best way through is with a distraction, so they team up with Sheidheda.

They free him, he kills everyone in sight.

(Attention, sheep!

Im here to kill your shepherd, he hilariously yells out … do I like Sheidheda now!?)

Madi lays catatonic in the chair.

As Clarke holds her and cries, Levitt analyzes the history of her brain.

Basically, shes locked into her brain.

Clarke assures Madi that everything is fine and then glances at a gun on the ground.

Octavia knows immediately what shes thinking and offers to do it for her.

But before O can pull the trigger, Levitt says, No!

They turn around and realize what he sees: The Shepherd got the code.

There is time to stop him, but they have to rush.

Clarke tells Madi shell be back and they run out of the room to save the world.

These past few episodes have confused me so much.

Theres still hope, right?

?