I cant remember the last time this many low-IQ errors were made in a single hour.
Things didnt begin stupidly, however: They kicked off scarily.
Ken reminded us about how theRacewould decide whether his marriage with the scariest woman on earth a.k.a.
Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
Tina would continue in the wake of his cheating.
She doesnt want a life sentence, and neither do I.
It seems to go beyond the penitent restraint of a guilty man.
Is something else keeping him in line?
Does Tina carry around a remote control that delivers electric shocks to his scrotum every time he displeases her?
And speaking of doomed couples, what about Sarah and Terence?
Boy, opposites attract, dont they?
Sure, opposites bug the crap out of each other, too, but man, do they attract!
I spent all Sunday with my 11-month-old daughter, and Terence isstillthe biggest baby I saw all day.
You be civil, Ill be civil.
Yes, it technically gives you a head start, but its a one-foot head start.
Let the bulkhead slide, Dr.
The Southern Belles, meanwhile, have decided to charm their way to victory.
You like American candy?
]Fun size 3 Musketeers?You didnt tell me you spoke the international language of near-microscopic sugary treats!
And to think I had been wasting my sweet tooth on Blong!
I loved the shot of him pushing the car, yelling, POP THE CLUTCH!
Everyone dashed to a beach, where they all had to ride in a dune buggy in the rain.
Terence, experiencing a manic phase, said, It was like God showering us with love and joy!
I think shell be pleasantly surprised by the results.
Everyone went for Beach It except the comic book nerds.
Is it just dumb luck that they havent wandered into an open manhole yet?)
BILL: As Yoda would say, Do or do not.
There is no try.'
This couldnt have been nerdier if theyd just spoken a bunch of ones and zeroes.
Does the mild exercise of chewing a breakfast bar make his pores shoot out liquid like a fire hose?
Back over at Beach It, Terence was berating Sarah in nonsensical ways.
And speaking of blows to the head, what fell on the frat guys noggins?
The fratters gamely picked this task because, you know, they lift weights.
(And like babes!
Dont forget they like babes!
Really, what kind of frat guys are these two?
And then came a wonderful twofer of idiocy.
No wedding bells
With all of this going on, youd think the roadblock would have been a cinch.
After all, they were told the key to finishing it was not overthinking it.
Hey, not overthinking things is what these teams do best!
Bill figured this out quickly, saying he would just copy all the words with brute force.
Only a nerd could use the term brute force in relation to writing in a notebook.
Tina followed Bills strategy.
But when she emerged victorious, and Ken hugged her, she cringed and went stiff.
It was like watching someones reaction to being hugged by Hitler wearing a suit made of lice.
But others didnt have such an easy time with the challenge.
Nick tried to share theories with Sarah, then dashed off to partner with frat-guy Andrew instead.
But she had the last laugh, solving it first.
(Check out what elseNick has been doingin his spare time.)
But the divorcees ruled this challenge, at least moronically.
After the container mix-up, they chanted with each other that they would always read clues carefully.
I found it hilarious that the cab ended up just parking in a nearby field.
Imagine the joy when the divorcees finally found him again!
Im assuming this was an abbreviated version of badass bitches.
If they did, Im glad these women are free of them.
Say it with me, Kelly: I am woman, HMR!
In the end, Ken and Tina beat the nerds in a footrace to finish first.
Its just as well: They won ATVs, and the nerds sweat would short out the motors.
But finishing last were commitmentphobe Anthony and the ring-craving Stephanie.
Oops, now they might have to keep putting off that engagement, isntthatinconvenient, Anthony?
Sawing off his ring finger?
But all is not lost for Stephanie.
When Anthony signed off, he said, I have a lot to be thankful for.
I have my health, I have my parents, I have my looks, and I have Stephanie.
Shes in the top four!
What do you guys think?
Was the episode moron-tastic or simply the best episode ever?
Did you feel the electrodes?
And what other ways could have Anthony escaped an engagement?
