Team Mascara had one of the worst legs inAmazing Racehistorylast week.
First, their lost fanny pack was sitting pretty in the Gondola Lost & Found.
(Team Cheerocracy cheered them all on from the sidelines.
Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
We didnt see a final score, but Im betting theWashington Generalslost.)
So the playing field was flattened.
Ah, there was the rub: The second half of this marathon leg would feature a Double U-Turn.
So Kent and Vyxsin kept mum about their extra thirty minutes.
Justin: The good thing about being on the top bunk is… Zev: Less chance for murder.
Justin: Yeah, I feel like any murder would happen on the bottom bunk.
Or the middle bunk.
Im pretty sureMurder on the Middle Bunkwas an Agatha Christie novella.
Once the teams hit Kunming early in the morning, they made for the Flower Market.
The Flower Market clue sent them along to the Golden Horse and Jade Cock Memorial Arches.
Zev and Justin continued to ride along behind Ron and Christina to the Tibetan performance.
They put on some elaborate headgear and watched the performance play out.
Ron was a little bit ruffled: I never played with dolls.
Neither team got right order on their first try.
Kisha and Jen, though, managed to completely nail the dolls order on their first try.
Hooray for the sibling mental link!)
That meant all three teams left together in a caravan on the way to the Chinese Minority Heritage Center.
Meanwhile, the solar power challenge turned out to be a pretty serious physical undertaking.
Margie looked like she was struggling a little bit, but shes way too diesel to complain.
Its a race for a million dollars, you cant walk up some stairs?
said Vyxsin, sounding extremely exasperated.
Ah, the pitfalls ofRacealliances!
Its a classic If one falls, they all fall situation.
That misstep meant Margie and Luke were the first to arrive at the Double U-Turn opportunity.
They opted out of U-Turning.
Same for the gentlemanly Cowbros, finally finding their groove in second place.
That meant the stage was set for some serious chicanery.
Kent and Vyxsin, mindful of their 30-minute penalty, knew they had to U-Turn somebody.
But they didnt want to risk U-turning a team that had already passed them by.
So they picked the only team they knew with absolute certainty was still behind them: the Cheerleaders.
Who, we should note, were literally standing right behind them.
Kent explained, Putting a bullet in thePlayboybunny was the only thing that was gonna save us.
(New stereotype alert: Gingers excel at vengeance.)
Getting desperate, Team Cheerocracy U-Turned the Globetrotters.
Boy, did the Angry Dad caravan luck out on this one.
Incredibly, Team Ginger and Team Globetrotter totally owned their U-Turn challenge.
(My favorite part was hearing how the Globetrotters described the different performers: Gray Russian.
From reading the comment boards, it like very few people out there think very much of Team Cheerocracy.
And, truthfully, its easy to hate on Jaime and Cara.
Their hair is the color of a Martian sunset.
Both their names are fashionably misspelled.
One of them appeared inPlayboy, and it wasnt even a classy issue ofPlayboy.
(Tara Reid was on the cover.
From what I hear.
I mean, I didnt read the issue.
Although sometimes they have good articles.
Also, even by the high-tension standards ofAmazing Race, Jaime is a true MVP of anti-taxi driver vitriol.
I found myself weirdly rooting for them last night.
The Stone Forest is where paleontologists unearthed some of the largest dinosaur fossils ever found in China.
Um, an unsafe dinosaur?
Is there such thing as asafedinosaur?
Well, I guess theres always the brontosaurus, the cheerful drunk uncle of the dinosaur world.
NEXT: The stone-faced paleontologistThis was a long competition, and all the teams slowly trickled in.
Truer words were never spoken, Angry Dad.
That meant Team Zinger were all alone at the back of the pack.
Jet, meanwhile, continued the Cowbros sudden upswing by totally acing the dino challenge.
I didnt realize how much I missed the Heroic Cowboy theme music.
Nice to see Jet and Cord looking happy again!
The Cowbros had so much momentum, they even managed to lap Team BUBGAS for the win.
When they came in first, Cord was so happy that he tossed his hat into the air.
I think the redheads are being mean.
She was trying to be supportive.
Jaime, youre doing great!
Leave me alone, yelled Jaime.
Kent couldnt convince the local paleontologist that he had the dinosaur screwed together properly.
Kent finally wrapped up his dilophosaurus, and the Goths raced off to the Pit Stop.
Thanks to their penalty, they had to watch Kisha and Jen race into fourth place.
Were hitting our stride, getting our game back, said Vyxsin.
Meanwhile, Big Easy managed to put together his dinosaur.
Double-U-Turn That, baby!
Hey, shes a law student! )
The Globetrotters took seventh place.
NEXT: The dilophosaurus claims one last casualtyChristina finally figured out her mistake: Im an idiot!
I flipped the crux of the bone!
(God, smart people are awesome.)
They both got their fair share of negatives from the paleontologist, but Justin finally wrapped up his dinosaur.
Jaime, blessher soulless void, just couldnt solve the riddle of the dinosaur.
I cant take this whole thing apart, she said.
I cant physically do it.
She was crying beautiful tears of sadness, and looked exhausted.
Cara said, Now I think we are definitely doomed.
And she was right but props to Jaime for finishing the challenge anyways.
Jaime: It never goes our way.
Now, thats a little dramatic, but yow, you gotta love the irony.
Viewers, what did you think about last nights episode?
Are you surprised that Team Goth pulled it together?
