(For non-gamers:Starcraftis toCall of Dutyas Chess is to Thumb War.)
(Geopolitically speaking, Kim Jong-il is the wacky sitcom neighbor next door.
Always with the kooky schemes!)
Credit: John P. Filo/CBS
But the episode quickly turned into a leisurely stroll.
Most of the serious drama was front-loaded to the first ten minutes.
The lead three teams set off in mid-afternoon.
(Brook noted that theyve been saving a couple outfits for the end of the race.
Kat: We both know how to be girly and get our way.
Theyre not afraid to play the Lady Card.
Although theyre probably too classy for a kiss count.
Next flight: 9:30 in the morning.
This really comes down to a miracle!
The fact that he said this right after a montage of Angry NickShut up!
Shut up, Vicki!
gave me little hope.
The first flight landed in Seoul, and the teams sped off to the demilitarized zone.
(Perhaps she was thinking, What is this Free World you speak of?
I know only of rainbows and butterflies!)
Brook and Claire offered to make an alliance with North Korea to look out for the other teams.
(Claire offered her services in solving the whole North Korea/South Korea division.
Boy,they sure could use her.)
At the bridge, they got the first command: Raft down the Hantan River!
When he glares at Jill, I just picture him mumbling, I have to return some videotapes.)
(At one point, one of them screeched, Kelly Clarkson!)
The teams got into some serious-looking humvees and decamped for Camp Casey.
(Brook in an army helmet = Private Benjamin.
The Prince of Darkness in an army helmet = Animal Mother.)
A squad of soldiers was working on their taekwondo.
Brook had some minor trouble, but all three teams ran through this challenge pretty quickly.
Brook, obviously driven battle-mad by testostregon, tried high-kicking the woodblock after it had already been decimated.
Down, Brook, down!
They arrived at the train station and couldnt see anyone behind them.
Jill, in a priceless line about Team QVC: You cant miss em.
Theyre just pink, pink, pink!
They hopped on the first train, leaving the two lady-teams tied for second waiting at the station.
In Full Throttle, teams had to complete 24 speed skating laps.
We suck at delivering stuff?
A.C.:We do?
P.o.D.:Yeah!
Unfortunately, Team QVC didnt read the no-taxi directions closely enough, and they hailed down a cab.
Hey Brook, dont be an unfair square!
Do you require a Care Bear stare?
Dare I declare, you make a fair pair in that sportswear.
(Sorry, readers, the rhyming dictionary in my brain just exploded a little.)
Jill: Are you almost ready?
Thomas:Yes, Im putting my skates on!
Stay on your feet, babe!
Thank you, Thomas!
You dont have to remind me of that!
NEXT: Only young people speak English, apparently.
At this point, I realized two important things.
Second, I genuinely like all of the top three teams.
she sounds like the cool aunt you always wish would visit more often.
The clue sent teams off to Yeouido Hangang Park.
(He still earned a cheek-peck.
Kiss count is at 9, folks!)
:No, Jill!
A.C.: (gesturing to another local)What about this guy?
Is he in your age range?
The Prince of Darkness proceeded to make birdlike gestures in front of a policeman.
Meanwhile, Brook and Claire found the last clue head to the Temple of Heaven!
Alas, Cruel Emperor Phil told them they had to wait half an hour because of their taxi penalty.
Personally, I thought they still might take first place.
The Prince of Darkness found himself inside a taxi where the cabbie didnt speak English.
He told the cabbie to call someone who did.
The cabbie called someone…and then got into an argument.
Disgusted, the Prince took his Angelic Consort into another taxi, with a much younger driver.
Brook and Claire followed, and Nat/Kat rounded out the final three.
More on them in a second.
First, lets talk Nick and Vicki.
Now, you could argue that their final day in the race was filled with typically boneheaded moves.
Their buddy stopped at one point and said, I need to toilet!
the Tattooed Wonders responded in unison.
Then, they dallied at the rest stop.
Nick:He wants you!
I knew you were good for something!
Man, I wouldve wanted to see that!)
I think you could argue that Team Tattoos persistent inability to justlosealready single=handedly dragged this season down.
Still, there was something low-grade compelling about watching them bumble along.
People, Im really excited about the finale next week.
The Final Three form a perfect Id-Ego-Superego triangle.
History is on the line.
Can two talented all-female teams beat one talented couple?
But the Doctors havent impressed very much in these last legs.
The Prince of Darkness has momentum (and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse) on his side.
Viewers, what did you think about this leg of the race?
Are you disappointed that there wasnt aStarcraftchallenge?
Can you believe that Nick and Vicki went out with such an existential whimper?
GOT A CASE OF COMMUTING BLUES?
Plus, Dalton has a truly insane interview withSurvivorcastoff NaOnka Mixon.
To join in all the fun, just choose the audio player below.
And in the best news of all,were now on iTunes!
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