Would it beBig Brothers emotionally volatile Brendon and Rachel?
Their nemeses Ralph and Vanessa?
Strong-arming Border Patrol officers Art and J.J.?
Credit: CBS
Or ragebot army officer Dave and his much, much better half Rachel?
After a brief rest in Cochin, India, the teams were off to Japan.
The three greatest words in the world: Japanese game show!
And not justanyJapanese game show, a game show brilliantly titledBring That Chicken Home.
(Coincidentally, this is the name of my forthcoming memoir.)
Just in case you need that spelled out, thats basically a surefire route to comedy gold.
Surely, running to the end of the treadmill and jumping to the mat would be easy?
Vanessa had one last shameful fall in her reserves before her team could move on.
NEXT: Will Ralph and Vanessasgame show cluck-uptake them out for good?
After eating their sushi, they could collect the next clue.
Regardless, they had two advantages over Brenchel: A head start and not being bickering ninnies.
Join the club, sister.
Despite their arguing, Team Army reached the Osaka Castle Pit stop first.
Art and J.J. reached the castle next, with Brenchel close behind.
When the guys found the mat, the feuding couples reached a make-or-break moment.
In the end, Rachel won by a nose.
(See what I did there?)
I think that qualifies as a good, old-fashioned Suck it, Vanessa, courtesy ofBig Brother.
Meanwhile, can Vanessa like retire the phrase Cheese and crackers now?
The Dating Divorcees took their elimination so well it was actually kind of boring.
That cleared a spot for Brenchel to make up time on the way to the towers.
The task: Ascend and Rappel.
Both Rachels were their teams weak link, but Brenchel couldnt overcome the others.
Either way, they were both basically finished by the time Art and J.J. even started.
He finished quickly and reported to CBS synergy alert!
Hawaii Five-Ostar Taylor Wily to get his next clue.
He and Rachel boarded a helicopter as Team Border Patrol arrived to find Brendon chipping away at the ice.
Perhaps Art and J.J. werent sure losers after all?
Despite choppy water, they completed the challenge quickly and easily.
For Brenchel, nothing was quick or easy about their path back to the helipad.
For anyone whos been waiting, the time had come.
At minute 93, Rachel broke down in tears.
NEXT: Fate smiles on Art and J.J., but can they take it to the mat?
Perhaps Rachel was right to cry.
And so Team Border Patrol continued to gain ground as Brenchel searched and rescued.
Instead to their credit they picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and sprinted back into the game.
With Brenchel wrapping up the lifeguarding task, the race very nearly became competitive again.
J.J. spotted Team Army returning.
Until that minute, he had been convinced he and Art had been condemned to second place.
He smiled and yelled, Were in the race!
But that smile quickly turned to an expression of despair as Art fell again and again (and again!
), effectively losing the lead they hadnt known they had.
Rachel needed only two attempts before she advanced to the rock toss.
From then, it was a struggle for second between Border Patrol andBig Brother.
Rachel nailed the sledding but lost her momentum inulu maika.
Youre the real winner in my heart, Team Kentucky!
