(Wait onlypartof her hopes that?)
Finally, Michael gets a one-on-one date!
But wait why am I getting so excited?
Credit: ABC
Plus he screams a little too much.
But Michael has no doubt that hes a contender.
While the date card said Come fly with me, for once the outing does not involve a helicopter.
Instead, the Bachelorette is taking the break dancer on a zip-line adventure.
A hug = future rejection.
Day two in Whistler arrives.
Is he really here for the right reasons?
If you had a girlfriend before you came here, I want to know.
If you came here because you want to be on TV, I want to know.
Its just that hes a lot more emotionally committed than he thought he was.
Taking the Bachelorette by the hand, he tells her, Im ready to do this.
She likes it, but Robby still gets the Hug of Inevitable Future Rejection.
NEXT PAGE: Hey, did you guys know Wes has a CD coming out?
(Hey kids, can you spot the lie in that statement?)
For example:
Cop:Did you rob that bank?
Bank robber:No, I was in the bank for the right reasons.
Cop:Are yousure?
Bank robber:Nope, wasnt me.
Must be our mistake.
Youre free to go.
Of course he didnt sign up just to be on TV, Wes assures Jillian.
I love Wes, Jillian gushes.
If he had a girlfriend, Im pretty sure I would know.
(He obeys.)
[giggle] Do you like me?
Whatever.What we do know for sure is that she is hot for Kipper in a major way.
After that uninterrupted 17-second shot of them kissing (complete with tongue ewww!)
its clear he aint going anywhere this week.
Reids one-on-one, on the other hand, is far more awkward and stilted.
Theyve gotten off to a good physical start, explains Jillian, but theyve had a slower emotional start.
He also completely chokes when Jillian asks him point blank, Whos the one with the girlfriend?
After a stunned pause, he stammers, Wull, I mean… did you really hear that?
(No, dumbass, she made it all up for fun.)
Question successfully deflected, and crisis averted!
NEXT PAGE: Better off Ed?
Meanwhile, Ed is looking depressed and distant by the campfire, and Jillian knows something is wrong.
Its killing me, he tells Jillian.
Youre, like, exactly what Im looking for.
The other guys are a little annoyed, but theyre also not too worried.
This isnt the economy where you want to get fired and be looking for another job, says Jake.
I am pretty confident that he will not be present at the next rose ceremony.
Jillian and Jesses one-on-one date is here!
They hop into a snow plane (what, were the helicopters all booked?)
And she LOVES it.
I have to say, Im still not picking up on any discernible personality with Jesse.
Its like nails on a chalkboard!
I honestly dont see any chemistry between those guys, says Ed of Jesse.
Mark goes even further, calling Jesse that smooth sailor that, like, ends up with the girl.
You feel like thats always the dude your girlfriend cheats on you with.
Dont they know Jillian at all?
Thatsexactlythe kind of guy Jillians self-sabotaging subconscious wants her to date.
The night ends, of course, with Jesse getting the rose.
Okay, its finally time to deal with the episodes most heartbreaking development.
I have to leave.
Poor Jillian is truly crestfallen and immediately starts crying.
I really, really, really, liked you…
When you do find the person that youre crazy about, dont let work get in the way.
Did he not tell his employers that there was a chance he could be gone fortwo months?
Either way, our unlucky Bachelorette is broken-hearted, and Eds decision to leave undermines her already shaky self-esteem.
Its like, am I good enough for somebody to sacrifice that or risk that?
(Answer: pretty much.)
Its anyones game to lose!
Godspeed, good soldier!
