In happier news, Ed’s back!!
Watching the last few episodes ofThe Bacheloretteis a lot like being chauffeured around byToonces the Driving Cat.
Everything seems to be going smoothly, and then all of a sudden LOOK OUT!!
Credit: ABC
Jillian steers her car off of an emotional cliff.
This week, my dear friends, was no exception.
Its hometown week, and first, Jillians off to Philadelphia to see Reid.
but shes also nervous: Are Reids parents going to like me, are they going to approve?
Even in a new state, these two have nothing to say to each other.
Their conversation goes something like this:
Jillian:Im nervous.
Reid:Im nervous too.
Jillian:[long pause] I got nothin.
Reid:Ok, lets make out.
If one disapproved, I would say that shes not the girl for me.
Way to be your own man, Reid!
But it doesnt seem like approvals going to be an issue.
Reids mom Rhonda wants her boy to get married NOW!
But hes got no problem mauling the Bachelorette on the front porch when they say goodbye.
When Jillian arrives, she gives him a friendly hug, but no kiss (sigh).
We want to, like, be good husbands… be good fathers.
Could these boys be any more adorable?
As much as it pains me to say it, there really isnt much chemistry evident.
Dad is right poor Michael is about to get flattened.
NEXT: Kiptyns mom?
Its time to meet Kipper on the beach in San Diego!
The sunny weather belies the dark storm of awkwardness thats coming.
His family might be the first family that I dont fit in with.
You know, because Jillian made out with Jason in a hot tub last season!
Oh, that never,evergets old, does it?
To Jillians credit, she barely blinks before firing back: That doesnt stop me!
Fortunately, she passes, but seriously?This is their idea of a welcome?
Mama Eve doesnt appear to think Jillian is good enough for her precious Kip.
About 440 miles north in Carmel, Jillian arrives for her hometown visit with Jesse at his familys winery.
he asks his bro, and before Jesse can answer, Jacob adds, Does she want babies?
Wow, how generous of you, Jesse!
Whatever, lets rock-and-roll in the rec room!
Speaking of impromptu jam sessions, its time for the hometown date weve all been waiting for.
And she LOVES it.
Little does Wes know that a plane carrying a disgruntled ex-bachelor and some extremely compromising news is landing nearby.
As we all know from the previews, its Jake.
Since I left Canada, Ive been heartbroken, he says.
Wes is a deceiver…
I need to tell Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend.
Im here for the right reason.
Later that night, Jillians waiting in her hotel room for Wes.
theres a Producers Errand Boy at the door.
she asks, looking relieved.
Because of his career and why hes here?
Is that why, do you think?
Jake looks pained as he struggles for words.
What is the ONE THING youve been trying to figure out for the past three episodes?
Oh, lets just let poor Jake break the news: Wes has a girlfriend.
Her name is Laurel.
you’re able to almost see Jillian spirit crumble.
Honestly, I dont deserve all this bullst.
Sweetheart, that is the truest thing youve said all season.
Having detonated his emotional H-bomb, Jake leaves.
(Good job, honey.
Eliot Ness would be proud.)
Um… [cough]… thats… crazy.
(Wait, this is the guy Jake calls quick on his feet?)
As predicted, Wes he tells Jillian that hes simply good friends with his ex-girlfriend, nothing more.
Jake shakes his head in disbelief and chides his former buddy for lying to his face.
Before long she kicks Jake out, telling him, I just need to follow my gut.
Good plan, sweetie.
Its been a stellar guide so far.
makes the wrong choice.
And with that, its time to meet Wes family.
Hes just jealous because he got kicked off and youre still there!
and Guys are always fricking jealous of you Wesley!
And she LOVES it.
Phew, enough drama for one episode, huhBachelorettefans?
Lets move on to the rose…
Wait, whats this?
Someones knocking at the door of Jillians hotel room.
Why, its Ed aka Producers Errand Boy No.
2 and hes wearing a truly unfortunate argyle sweater.Day-um, TeamBachelorette!
Did younothear her when she said, I cant handle any more surprises?
(Was there really any doubt?)
But who are we kidding?
Yes, you did, pal, but dont worry youll find someone who truly appreciates your awesomeness.
Lets start the movement now: Michael for the next Bachelor!
