Im so mad at him!
So very extremely same.
Fantasy Suite week happened, and it was a big ol mess.
The Bachelor (screen grab)CR: ABC.ABC
Its very chilly outside, but Peter fails to give Madison his jacket.
He also fails to understand, at first, what shes trying to tell him.
Peters actual response: So what are you, like, saying?
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Does he have a Fantasy Suite hall pass or not?
For me, actions speak louder than words, says Madison.
Im just really big on that.
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If that were true, honey, you would have been long gone weeks ago.
This next week, were going to have to make some really tough decisions, sighs Peter.
Whos we, buddy?
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Im just going to be sitting right here on my couch, watching you flail.
On to the dates!
Yes, she is.
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And as you might imagine, none of the women are pleased.
Can you imagine the conversation that went on amongst producers about putting this diabolical plan into motion?
Like, Guys, these women still have a nanoparticle of dignity left.
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How can we change that?
Its a masterstroke of cruelty.
Poor Madison tries to make small talk (How did your guyses hometowns go, were they good?)
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but all she gets are silent nods from Hannah Ann and Victoria F. The only thing that could make this even worse is if Peter showed up without actual pants.
That, too, was awkward and weird.
Im sensing a trend here, rose lovers.
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Peter and Hannah Ann ride jet skis, and then smooch, and ride jet skis some more.
I can really see this, he tells her later, as they relax on the beach.
I believe in us.
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At dinner, Peter and Hannah Ann sit at an uncomfortably small table with creaky chairs.
Back at the womens quarters, Madison is feeling a little squirmy.
It is weird that theyre probably getting ready for their dinner portion right now, she notes.
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Theyre ready to go to bed!
replies Victoria F. Shes definitely going to say yes to the Fantasy Suite.
Its all very hard to think about for Madison, as this excellent video segue implies.
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You know what Im having a hard time thinking about right now?
The fact that Hannah Ann and Peter are still wearing their shoes when they lie down on the bed!
Also, is this Peters hand?
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Hannah Ann had her back to the door, so it has to be…?
Why do I suddenly want to watchTitanic?
The awkwardness is intense and almost palpable.
It went really well, says Hannah Ann sheepishly.
Victorias all,Thats great, but now its my turn!
And so it is.
Peter begins the date by addressing their last conversation, a.k.a.
that tearful fight in front of her parents house.
I want you to know that I trust you, says the Bachelor.
She never gave you any actual answers or explanations about Merissas claims.
She just browbeat you into dropping the subject.
WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS, PETER?
The passion is 100 percent there, says Peter.
Theres obviously that fire.
Some people might think theres too much of it, but for me, Im actually attracted to that.
Its never going to be a boring relationship.
Its also never going to be a relationship, buddy but I think you know that.
Theres really important conversations that need to be had between the two of us, he says.
We have a lot of catch up to do right now.
Peter doesntdaretread back into the so wait, did you break up a lot of relationships?
territory, because that would ruin the very tentative peace hes now enjoying.
And besides, he just wants to make it to the Fantasy Suite unscathed.
Peter sleeping with anybody else definitely makes me feel uncomfortable, she tells Hannah Ann.
And thats just kind of like what I voiced to him.
We knew what we signed up for!
marvels Hannah Ann in her confessional.
I knew going into this week was going to be uncomfortable.
I like Maddie, she seems like a nice woman, but shes also been onThe Bachelorthiswhole time.
As Hannah Ann says, this whole thing is truly madness.
Hey, speaking of madness, its time for dinner with Peter and Victoria!
And Victoria wants to communicate… about the importance of communication!
Communications probably, like, the biggest thing in a relationship, she says.
So now, when Peter asks about her feelings, she gets defensive.
Im like, Wait, why is he asking me that?
That must mean theres something wrong.
Hmmmm… are we buying this explanation, rose lovers?
(Dont answer that.)
In other words, dont throw a tantrum and walk away every time something bothers you.
So she deploys her favorite weapon, always at the ready: Crocodile tears.
The Bachelor tries to talk her off the ledge (again) Im here.
Its just the two of us, okay?
and assures her that she deserves all the love in the world.
But she LOVES it.
I know youre good for me, says Victoria.
And I want to be good for you.
You know whats next, dont you?
Of course she says yes.
And of course Peter feels like theyve totally overcome another obstacle in their relationship and everythings totally fine.
Victorias feeling it too or says she is.
The morning after is all cuddles and smiles.
Hes just my person, she says.
Im torn three ways right now, he sighs.
I have no idea how Im going to do this.
Madison looks grim as Victoria talks about her productive night with Peter (more likere-productive ba-dum-bum!
), and soon after, she quietly walks out of the room.
Get it together, toots youre up next!
(Of course they made her go last!
Another stroke of evil genius.)
Their date takes place at theSkyPoint, known as Australias highest external building climb.
That doesnt really sit well with me, grumbles Victoria F. Thatssoannoying.
I bet Peter will agree.
Lets rejoin Madisons dinner with the Bachelor, already in progress.
But certainly a longer period of time than a few days.
On the other hand: YOU ARE ONTHE BACHELOR!
Pilot Pete is stunned.
Short answer: Yes.
So as Madison said earlier this episode, Peter, the balls in your court.
Whats it gonna be?
And it gets worse.
Translated fromBachelor-ese to English, I think that means, Im not sure Im going to pick you.
Now it is Madisons turn to be stunned.
Will you just, like, excuse me for a second?
says Madison, before walking outside to process and cry.
I feel really, really hurt and really let down, she tells us.
Again, you are onThe Bachelor!
And you are free to leave at any time!
But hey, who among ushasntheld a partner to unrealistically high standards at one point in our lives?
Peter comes outside to comfort Madison and beg her to stay.
I cant lose you, he says through tears.
I know that Ive hurt you and Im sorry for that.
kindly dont walk away from this.
Can you believe we only have two weeks left, rose lovers?
And how great is it that theyre now just incorporating bloopers into the show?
Post your thoughts below!
The Bachelorairs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC
