Right, so where were we, rose lovers?
Oh, of course #champagnegateand its wide-ranging aftermath!
Today, as the sun rises on Casa Bachelor, Kelsey isstillcrying as is Hannah Ann.

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I would never do that to someone, she sobs to Alexa.
Why would I steal champagne?
Im sure Peter is exhausted from dealing with this thing for two days, notes Alayah.

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Meanwhile, this woman is getting ready for her one-on-one date.
Drive safe, Peter!
Im a little smitten right now, she tells him with a giggle.

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And he LOVES it.
They smooch a bit and dance some more.
Is it me, or is this date really boring?

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Lets check back in on whats going on at CasaBachelor.
Oh, it looks like the Poolside Peace Talks between Kelsey and Hannah Ann are underway!
Kelsey tells her nemesis that she will not tolerate being called a bully.

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Using unkind words to you, I apologize for that but that is not bullying, she insists.
(She is correct.)
(I dont even like champagne!

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wails the blonde.)
You dont know me, says Hannah Ann.
So why call me fake?

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These two arent really getting anywhere, are they?
I guess we should just go back to Peters date with Blonde Victoria.
Dinner takes place in an airplane hangar (we get it, HES A PILOT!).

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We were in and out of shelters growing up.
Ive gotta say, Peters concerned listening face is really on point.
Victorias story is pretty upsetting, of course.

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Id see to it my sister was, like, taken care of.
Growing up, all Victoria wanted was a happy life, and to have a family someday.
You deserve it all, says Peter.

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This shows me what kind of person you are.
And God answered: The second that I said that, a shooting star went across the sky.
I mean, okay?

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And Peter, like go ahead and give Victoria P. that date rose, okay?
When someone asks her if she has a wild side, Alayah says, Fk yeah, dude!
Bro, I get nasty!

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I mean, Im very good at putting on [a] face when I need to.
Sydney observes from the sidelines.
With Alayah, I can tell somethings off about that girl, she says.
She is just all fake.
This, rose lovers, is whats known as foreshadowing.
Wake up you maggots!
bellows Demi, who then orders the women downstairs for their group date instructions.
Is this actually how you sleep?
asks Peter, as he rides with the lingerie-clad ladies to the date.
The women reply in unison: NO!
Duh, Pilot Pete.
Once again, comedy legend Fred Willard is there to help Chris Harrison call the action.
(Props to the graphics team for that Bachelor Nation Sports logo.)
1 Tammy the Tamminator vs. Kelley the Prosecutie ends when Tammy executes an illegal tackle and is disqualified.
(Yes, apparently there are rules in Demis Extreme Pillow Fight Club.)
Wow, what a coincidence that Demi chose these two women who clearly already have a beef brewing!
Anyhow, the pillow battle gets nasty fast.
Show me you want it!
bellows Peter from the crowd.
What am I supposed to do?
Its a fing elephant sitting on a rat.
How are you gonna get up?
First of all, Syd Vicious, lets not perpetuate unhealthy body expectations by calling Alayah an elephant.
This, rose lovers, is an example of subconscious foreshadowing.
Sydney is still steaming mad at the post-date cocktail party.
People like Alayah just win in this world, she grouses.
Possibly, or could it be that Alayah, much likeWalt Whitman, contains multitudes?
Today was the fighter and the strong side.
The Bachelor is into all sides of this multifaceted pageant diamond.
Alayah has a very positive, fun energy about her that I totally connect with, he tells us.
You know whos not giving off positive energy right now?
Girl, didnt you read her chyron?
Alayah is an Orthodontist Assistant.
In fact, Alayah says she hasthreejobs.
(Any guesses on what the other two are?)
Sydney then asks Alayah if she still uses the training from her beauty queen career in her day-to-day life.
Yeah, she replies.
Im so used to it.
Those things are easy for me.
I dont think so.
You soundsorehearsed, Sydney continues, and so, like,on… And, like, thats what hes here to find, like a real person.
Rather than leaping up and yanking Sydneys hair out of her head, Alayah maintains her beauty-queen cool.
I dont know, she says curtly, before emotionally checking out of the conversation.
Oh, but Sydney isnt done talking.
When Im in the house with some girls, its two different things, she explains.
I just, like, dont want you to get blinded by that.
This sends Peter into the requisite my greatest fear is that Ill fall for someone fake tailspin.
And what he does next is, in a word, hilarious.
Thats right, rose lovers!
I want to just kinda squash this now.
You may call this tattling, but I call this the alls fair in televised love and war defense.
The same goes forThe Bachelor, Sydney!
As you might imagine, Sydney was not really prepared for this sudden development.
Um… she begins.
Maybe Alayah, maybe you put on a little bit just for the imagery of things?
After shooting Sydney a death glare, Alayah asks the group if anybody else thinks shes a phony.
And with that, he walks.
Sydney accuses her of being a little bit dramatic for the cameras, which Alayah doesnt deny.
Still, she says, You dont know me outside of this.
I have a big personality…
But now you made Peter doubt me.
I wouldnt be here if I didnt feel something for you, she says through tears.
And now to think that its possible that you think Im being fake just sucks.
Peter, clearly exhausted and annoyed by all the drama, just hangs his head.
I just hope that Im not getting fooled, he sighs.
I appreciate you being honest with me, he says.
Though that must have felt like a gut-punch to Alayah, she is not deterred.
Im not going to allow him to dislike me because of some other persons opinion, she vows.
Before the party commences, Peter pulls Sydney aside.
(Guys, shes still carrying her date rose around, which is brilliantly hostile.)
I would just take today and really, like, dont look at the outside, she advises.
If you do that, I think youll figure out, like, whats going on.
Natasha informs Peter that Sydney was not wrong about Alayah, while Lexi (remember her?)
When Alayah tries to hash things out with Sydney a second time, it does not go well.
Do you have feelings?
she asks Alayah bluntly.
Do you have emotions other than… perfect?
(I kid, I kid.)
Sydneys all,Who me?
Im just telling it like it is because no one else has the balls to do it!
All Alayah can do is appeal to Peter directly.
Peter is noncommittal, but says he has to guard (and protect) his heart.
Do you see why some of the other girls in the house maybe feel a fakeness from you?
Of course she doesnt!
I choose to be happy, says Alayah, adding that shes a horrid liar.
After a pause and a sigh, Peter has this to say: I believe you.
It seems like everything is settled, and they seal the conversation with a kiss.
I feel so fricking amazing right now!
I feel back on top of the world.
(Turns out Victoria P. is a formerMiss Louisiana USA.)
I probably had spent, maybe, like collectively three hours with her, she tells Peter.
Rose lovers, it gets worse.
With that in mind, says Victoria, Maybe shes not for you.
Poor Pilot Pete now has to gobackto Alayah to figure out if shes a lying liar who lies.
My heart says one thing, but my heads screaming, Stop it!
Team Head all the way, bro.
The Bachelor sits Alayah down and informs her that multiple women have brought stuff up questioning her intentions.
Maybe youve been a little manipulative toward some of the women…?
Her response is predictable.
It wasnt me being manipulative, she insists.
Peter, however, isnt buying it.
That doesnt look genuine, he says.
And hes not coming back, rose lovers!
Harrison arrives and informs the ladies that the Bachelor is too emotional and confused to enjoy the party.
Theyre just going to have to wait for the rose ceremony to see him again.
Whatever you say, honey.
Peter, lets do this thing!
It looks like shes about to collapse from nervous exhaustion.
Maybe shes just yawning?
Speaking of exhaustion, Peter has reached his final two roses and his breaking point.
Theres been a little bit of a change tonight, he announces.
This is now the final rose tonight.
And it goes to… Mykenna!
So sorry Alayah (and Jasmine, Alexa, and Sarah).
kindly take a moment and say your goodbyes.
But is it really farewell?
After saying goodbye to the ladies, Peter confers with a producer.
I dont feel good right now, he says.
Just kidding he obviously regretsbothof those things!
As we see in the preview for next week, the Alayah drama isnt over yet.
And how nervous do you think producers were when Peter flew off that mechanical bull?
Post your thoughts below!