Little Peter wins again!

This week was rough.

Lets get to it.

The Bachelor

Credit: ABC

Girl, you only have a few hours aim lower!

Operation Butch Peter Up has one step: Teach him how to throw an ax.

To be fair, he eventually manages to hit one bullseye.

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ABC

Does that say, [The way you] wrap your leg around me when we hug?

And if so, does Peter not realize that EVERY woman left does that #jumpnhump move?

When it comes time to meet the family, its really all about Hannah Anns dad.

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ABC

The biggest question on my mind is how he feels about Hannah, says Rick.

Can you honestly sit here and tell me tonight that its not just a flash in the pan?

Because right now, thats the way I look at it.

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ABC

The Rick-Peter sit-down is as tense as expected.

Rick does NOT love it.

Peter looks uncomfortable and he should.

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ABC

I hear your concerns, he mumbles, and Ill take those to heart.

The suspense is killing me!

Lets listen in:

Oh boy, Peter.

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ABC

Watch your back, buddy.

Once theyre good and drunk on vino, Kelsey informs the Bachelor that shes in love with him.

Cheers to that premature declaration!

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ABC

Its for sure only going to bring good things for Kelsey, right?

At dinner, Beth introduces Peter to Crab Rangoon, which is one of Kelseys favorites.

Mom, meanwhile, wants the Bachelor to know that when Kelsey loves, she loves like no other.

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ABC

With that in mind, she has a warning for the scruffy-faced pilot: Dont break my girls heart.

(Is it me or is Kelseys mom almost scarier than Hannah Anns dad?)

She definitely is all in, says Beth.

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ABC

Ive never seen her like this before.

Its Madisons alma mater and, of course, where her father coaches basketball.

At the arena, theyre greeted by a video message from another Auburn alum, Charles Barkley.

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ABC

Man, Peter cant goanywherewithout getting low-key threatened!

Anyhow, time to hoop it up, under the watchful eye of Coach Bruce Pearl.

Good effort, buddy.

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ABC

After Madison trounces Peter on the court, its off meet the Prewetts.

Okay, Ill admit, thats a sweet tradition.

You seem really happy and he seems really nice, says mom.

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ABC

I just dont know.

Mom, why are you speaking in code?

And no, she hasnt told him yet.

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ABC

How can you assure me that thats genuine?

Short answer: He cant!

But Chad the dad keeps pressing: I dont want to go down that road unless you know.

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ABC

So Im asking you a really tough question: Do you know?

When you were a little baby, I laid my hands on you and prayed for your future husband.

Im not ready to say right now that thats him, says dad.

However, Im not ready to shut the door either.

For Madison, the family visit is a harsh reality check.

I feel like a lots kind of weighing on that.

True to form, Peter is blissfully unaware that Madison is having any doubts.

I just know that shes on that same page with me, he gushes.

(Narrator: Shes not.)

Welcome to Victorias hometown, rose lovers!

Their date begins at the boardwalk, where Victoria and Peter take some Old Timey photos just for kicks.

Now she can see it with the Bachelor?

Wow, everythings been going smoothly for a full two-and-a-half minutes!

Thats a record for these two.

But dont worry, rose lovers the shiz is about to hit the fan.

Victoria takes Peter to The Shack on 8th for a surprise Hunter Hayes concert.

(He sings a song with very appropriate lyrics: I dont want easy, I want crazy.

And no, Victoria didnt used to date him.)

But its what happens next thats really of interest.

This blurry bearer of bad news is a woman named Merissa, who Peter apparently dated back in 2012.

Things must not have ended badly, because Peter seems genuinely happy to see her.

Is it me, or does Peter not seem at all surprised at this news?

He heaves a heavy sigh and hugs Merissa goodbye.

That was a complete bomb that just got dropped, he says, climbing into the Getaway SUV.

Im confused right now.

I honestly dont know how to go about this.

Oh, I do!

Why not confront Victoria about iton the front steps of her parents house?

Peter arrives looking glum, and he and Victoria sit down on the stoop to talk.

[Merissa] told me that youve caused a lot of other relationships to end, says Peter.

I dont know what shes referring to, but those were her words.

As you saw inthe clip I posted last week, Victoria immediately gets defensive.

I havent broken up any relationships!

What relationship did she say that I break up in town?

You literally just came in here to act like that?

Are you kidding me?

Surely Peter could have asked production to bring Victoria to a neutral location for this uncomfortable chat.

But why would they do something humane when humiliation is an option?

Its like I cant catch a break!

Of course, she comes back.

(Now would be a good time to scream into that pillow, rose lovers.)

But its too little, too late for Victoria, who turns on the waterworks once again.

I literally wanted to tell you tonight that I was falling in love with you, she whimpers.

How are we even supposed to move forward from this?

Have you not seen this entire time how much Ive cared for you?

he asks her, incredulous.

And how much you have meant to me?

Rather than answer, Victoria just sobs about how disappointed and embarrassed she is by this whole situation.

You deserve to be loved, Peter whispers, as she cries in his arms.

The next morning, Peter is just moping around his hotel room in Virginia Beach when knock!

theres a petite brunette lunatic at the door.

Victoria, whos had a whole night to figure out her strategy, is all calm and repentant.

Im really sorry for how things, like, went down last night, she murmurs.

Im trying so hard, she whispers.

I know its probably not, like, good enough right now.

But Im trying really hard.

Like, Ive never tried like this.

Rose lovers, is thereanychance that Peter wont buy this load of BS?

With that, were back in Los Angeles for the rose ceremony.

Its taking place in an airplane hangar!

(In case you werent aware, Peter is a pilot.)

The good news is Chris Harrison is there to greet the ladies.

Missed you, sir.

In her pre-ceremony interview, Victoria is feeling anxious.

I didnt have a hometown with Peter, and he didnt get to meet my family, she says.

So Peter and I are probably not moving forward.

So sorry, Kelsey.

I dont think you have a shot at Bachelorette, but well probably see you inParadise.

Well, that wraps things up, rose lovers!

Nothing left to see here, so… Oh, wait.

Looks like Madison doesnt want the night to end just yet.

Next week is Fantasy Suite week and I dont think Peter knows how much Im struggling, says Madison.

Okay,nowwe can wrap things up.

Are you getting the feeling that Madison maybe isnt that into Peter after all?

(I am.)

And how disappointed are you that we didnt get to see Peter receive some Nana kisses?

Post your thoughts below!