And you know where we have to start: the Hannah Brown cliffhanger.
Youre the one who said no to me.
I never said no to you.
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He asked me to stay, sighs Hannah, tearing up again.
I dont, like, know what to do now.
Theyre gonna have to keep waiting.
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Hannah and Peter are still talking backstage.
Lets go catch a flight, says Hannah, half-joking.
They spend a few more minutes hugging and cuddling and not-quite-kissing, but finally Peter has had enough.
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I cant do this, he says.
This is not fair to you all, at all.
But drinks later, okay?
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The women are whats the word Im looking for?
She hasnt gone away, snipes Natasha.
Every time Ive seen you, Ive seen her.
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Peter apologizes again and promises to regather himself before the post-date cocktail party.
Heading into drinks with his harem that night, Peter hopes that we can move past this, together.
Natasha is not on board with this idea.
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I want to get to know afreePeter, she fumes.
I dont want to get to know achainedPeter.
Hannah B. is in the past, he says.
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For now, at least.
And the date rose goes to…
Congrats, Sydney.
Suddenly, were back in the mansion and its time for the final cocktail party before the rose ceremony.
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My brain thinks its almost 10 p.m., but somehow, its barely 8:30.
I need a nap.
What happened the first night?
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I did remember that, he replies, and then gives her a red matchbox car to prove it.
(Or did producers prep him in advance, like, Okay, see this red car?
Go give it to the woman withred hair.
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you’re able to do this!)
You disrespected me, fumes Kelsey.
I know you dont really care.
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helps her fix her face before she sits down with Peter.
Its too much for Kelsey to bear, and she runs off to the bathroom to cry.
And then a few minutes later, she storms back outside to tear Hannah Ann a new one.
Its not okay what you did!
I brought this bottle all the way from Des Moines.
Dont have a go at play dumb!
She storms off again, with Peter in tow.
Man, this poor girl cant catch a break.
In her defeat and humiliation, Kelsey lashes out at Hannah Ann again.
You are fake, and I know what you did.
Im real and youre calculated and Im over it.
Im not, Kelsey calls after her.
Just because Im not a fake bitch.
Heres Chris Harrison with the Butter Knife of Bad News, just in the nick of time.
Lets get this rose ceremony going!
This means its time to say goodbye to Lauren, Courtney, and Payton.
As for Kelsey and Hannah Ann, things are tense, naturally.
This is like a full-on, intense, Im here to kill you kind of game, says Tammy.
I didnt know it was going to get this catty so quick.
Gurl, are you new?
They meet Peter in front of Revolve, which is a fancyish clothing store on Melrose Avenue.
The winner gets literally over 40 shopping bags filled with Revolve clothing and accessories.
Thats actually a pretty good prize, rose lovers.
Beats 10 extra minutes with Peter or whatever.
The women race around the store trying to choose two outfits for the runway.
This is likePretty Woman, but not the bad part!
Take your pick weve all been there.
I think as long as youre yourself, she says, thats all you could do.
Its true, yall!
Time to get it together and walk that runway, Victoria.
Yeah, that might not be the best idea, honey.
One by one, the women strut the runway, and one by one, Janice Dickinson hates them.
The judges love it too, and they announce Hannah Ann and Victoria F. as the two finalists.
For the final walk-off, both women don the same sequined evening dress and do one last strut.
I dont want to be here!
Im literally so defeated… Im never good enough.
Even though Peter pulls Victoria F. first during the post-date cocktail party, shes glum during their chat.
I dont know if Im made out for this, she tells the Bachelor.
Like, I like you, I do.
But I just dont know if its worth… my mental health?
I can answer that right now: ITS NOT.
Soon shes sobbing into his lap, and feeling embarrassed for sobbing into his lap.
I just feel like theres so many other girls here, she says sadly.
THATS BECAUSE THERE ARE.
I know that you are not like any of the girls here, he murmurs.
With that, Peter is free to move on to his next potential wife.
Oy, with that overused buzzword.
But Hannah Ann knows what to do when youre being bullied: Tell a trusted adult.
The first thing she does when she sits down with Peter is tattle on Kelsey.
I was up all last night crying, she says.
I approached Kelsey last night and she told me to f off.
Yeah, but shes telling me that she didnt, counters Peter.
Like, this is insane.
Yes, it is.
I dont like her, she knows that, says Kelsey.
She can turn it on.
Shes trying to play the victim card.
She acts a certain way to you, and a different way in the house.
Oh lord, rose lovers.
We know where this is going and anyone whos ever seenThe Bachelorknows where this is going.
I dont know what to do, sighs Peter.
I dont know who to believe right now.
The episode ends with Kelsey running off to the bathroom and crying tears of frustration (again).
Theres a difference between me saying not-nice words to her face, sobs Kelsey, and constantly bullying somebody.
Expect more crying next week, along with a sexy pillow fight competition and the return of Demi Burnett.
Are you #TeamKelsey or #TeamHannahAnn?
Post your thoughts below!
The Bachelorairs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.
