Tonight, Peter Weber joined the Bachelor bait-and-switch club, first proposing to Hannah Ann before realizing whoops!
that it was Madison he wanted all along.
Lets recap, shall we?
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Peter begins the (not) final day of his Bachelor journey with a jog through the Australian outback.
Madison left, and thats been really, really rough for me, he says.
But I do believe that things happen for a reason.
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(Spoiler: They dont.)
Right now, it just feels right and real with Hannah Ann.
Keywords: Right now.
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Never mind that he was heartbroken a few days ago over Madison.
Never mind that hes obviously just talking himself into choosing Hannah Ann because hes terrified of being alone.
NEVER MIND ALL OF THAT, PEOPLE.
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Lets go ring shopping!!
Having procured the rock, Peter suits up and FaceTimes Hannah Anns dad to get his blessing.
Unfortunately, the person whose blessing he really needs is having some doubts.
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And that was like a knife in my heart.
Is it so unreasonable to want a guy to be 100 percent devoted to you before accepting his proposal?
No, no its not.
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And Hannah Ann doesnt think Peter is there.
I dont know what to do, she sighs.
Everything in me just wants to put up my guard and tap out.
ABC
Honey, cant you have your breakdown standing up?
Youre going to wrinkle that lovely dress!!
To be honest, Im not positive shes coming, says the host.
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Peters all,Wait doesnt she know shes a sure thing?
Instead, you let her bottle-feed baby kangaroos in total ignorance.
Now those kangaroos are coming home to roost, buddy!
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(Yes, I know that makes no sense.
Just let me have this.)
Eventually, producers take Peter inside a nearby cottage so he can lie down and cool off.
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She doesnt even know if she wants to come here right now that makes no sense!
Even so, Hannah Ann decides to come and get her ring/man.
Two things: It isn’t, and youre not.
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But thats up to Peter to explain.
Though the lady usually talks first, producers have waived that rule under the circumstances.
I told you that my heart was torn in two different directions, begins Peter.
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And now I have to follow my heart.
Not, She left me, and I was really heartbroken about it just, she left.
This, kids, is whats known as a lie of omission.
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Hannah Ann deserves to know how and why Madison left before accepting Peters proposal.
But… for now, thats not going to happen.
My heart chooses you forever, says the Bachelor through tears.
I love you, Hannah Ann.
And her response is just heartbreaking: You loveme?
Oh, my God!
Gurl, someday youll hear that from a man who deserves you, but today is not that day.
Of course, she says yes.
I cant believe youre all mine!
I get to love you forever!
Hes not, and you dont, but we wont get into that right now.
After all, now is a time for celebrating!
Before Peter even gets through the door, Barb starts crying.
We missed you so much!
Take it down a notch, Mom its only been a week.
I am engaged, he says.
And, um, Im so happy.
[pause] I really am.
Who is it???
Mom totally takes the news in stride.
This is the best news ever!
We love her so much!
a giddy Barb asks her never-to-be daughter-in-law.
We love you and miss you!
This relationship doesnt need any more bad juju.
Shall we flash forward to the inevitable?
Peter says hes been honest with Hannah Ann about his struggles.
I think we both know that this has been hard, she sighs.
When I said yes to you, like, I said yes to a partnership.
And I said yes to us being teammates…
But if you cant give me that love in return, thats not a relationship.
YES, GURL, YES!
I never intended to give my heart to two people, Peter replies, wiping away tears.
Welp, there it is.
Hannah Ann, c’mon feel free to get angry.
You took that away from me, snaps Hannah Ann.
Because I trusted you!
With that, she excuses herself to go to the bathroom/get away from the cameras.
Im so sorry, he whimpers again.
Like, this is, like, never what I ever, ever envisioned, ever.
Hannah Anns all,Yeah, me neither, dumbass.
I said yes, and I get this?
she asks, taking the Neil Lane engagement ring out of her pocket and waving it in Peters face.
I really like Angry Hannah Ann.
When Peter keeps apologizing, the spurned Hannah Ann goes into full 1-800-NOT-HAVING-IT mode.
For not being man enough to follow through with your words?
For not being true to your words?
Not being true to your feelings?
Is that what youre sorry for?
Torn and conflicted Peter, continues Hannah Ann, with a sneer in her voice.
And all throughout, I stood by your side.
And you took the most precious moment that I could ever imagine away from me.
Because you, selfishly, just did not want me to walk away.
Peter, sad-sack and sorry, knows theres nothing he can say to make this better.
He knows hes hurt Hannah Ann and her family.
He knows hes screwed this whole thing up.
I cant even look at you anymore, says Hannah Ann.
Youve done enough damage.
With that, Hannah Ann gives him back the ring.
Were done, she whispers.
And I mean that.
The Bachelor makes a few more attempts to talk to Hannah Ann (WHY?
), but she refuses to engage.
Im going to get my life back on track now, she says.
Where it originally was before… Ive been my own rock throughout this.
You dont have to worry about me.
HANNAH ANN FOR THE BACHELORETTE IN 2027!
(Lets wait until shes 30.)
And were back at the Thunderdome.
Being there that day, how difficult was that?
Harrison asks Peter, who looks like he wants to vom.
That was just, like, tearing my heart out, he mumbles.
Just knowing that I was going to do that to her… that just tore my heart out.
She struts out on stage in a red wrap dress to raucous cheering including from Barb.
(Too little, too late, woman!)
And boy, is Hannah Ann ready to tell Pilot Pete how she really feels.
How does that make any sense?
Everything that youre saying is 100 percent fair, he says.
Hannah Ann, when I told you that I loved you, I did love you.
I swear to God.
Believe me, it kills me so much to know what I took away from you.
Not good enough, pal.
I had no idea what I was saying yes to, she fumes.
You had two days to tell me the full truth.
Right about now, Peter starts to short circuit.
I did my best, he fumbles.
I would have regretted that, he says lamely.
(Regretted it more than proposing on TV and then taking it back???
Ultimately, he just reverts back to apologizing.
Youre so right, says Peter.
There are so many things that I would do differently if I could.
But Hannah Ann gets the last word.
Call the cops, rose lovers we need to report a murder!
I wonder how Madison would feel about this development.
Lets travel to Auburn, Ala., and find out!
Short answer: Not great.
Hold those tears, honey!
The reason Im here today is to give you news, says Harrison.
He ended his engagement with Hannah Ann.
Madison can barely process this information.
First, she asks if hes okay (which is pretty sweet).
Then she tries to describe how shes feeling: I just am…
It breaks my heart, it is good, a bunch of things.
Then Harrison poses the million-dollar question: Are you in love with Peter?
So yes, Madison is in love with Peter.
Finally, Madison allows herself to smile.
I guess were heading to LA!
Okay, but bring anti-bacterial wipes and wash your hands any time you touch anything.
Theres a pandemic out there!
Cut to: Madison in Los Angeles, riding to Peters rented digs in the Reunion SUV.
The Bachelor is surprised to see her What are you doing here?
because apparently he was expecting Chris Harrison.
Peters all,Sorry I proposed to another woman.
Can we, like, move past it?Good question!
Lets return to the Tealight Candle Thunderdome LIVE and find out!
Theres a long pause, and finally, he answers: Yeah.
Doesnt Barb look thrilled?
Madison emerges from backstage, looking stunning in a hot pink off-the-shoulder dress.
I love Peter, and that hasnt changed since that day in Australia, she tells Harrison.
How is this all going to end?
For once, Peter wants to do the sensible thing.
Weve both been through the wringer through all of this, he says.
Ive made more mistakes than you’ve got the option to ever make as the Bachelor… Thats probably for the best, because Barb has definitely not yet defected from #TeamHannahAnn.
When Harrison asks her how shes feeling about Peters decision, she does not mince her words.
Chris, of course I have my feelings.
And the show last night, it didnt show everything, she says.
When I went for Hannah Ann, she was the one who embraced me with love.
She had us wait three hours for her to come in.
She didnt want to meet us, Barb continues.
We had just come across the world, we were exhausted… and we had to wait three hours.
And when she did come in, the whole family, we didnt get an apology from her.
We interrupt this brutally honest rant to bring you Madisons bish, like listening face.
Yeah, the only thing keeping Madison from sinking her acrylics into Barbs neck are her good Christian morals.
At the end of the day, it is what it is.
You cant change the past…
The crowd erupts in applause.
Then he turns to Barb and Pete Sr.
I just ask that you guys can give her that chance and trust me, says Peter.
This is someone that I love, and I fell in love with.
By this point, Madison has had enough.
she says, interrupting Barb.
(The crowd LOVES it.)
This isnt just Peters journey…
This is my journey too and this isnt just Peter choosing me, this is me choosing Peter.
Damn right, woman!
Barb, like give it a rest, okay?
No wonder Peter is such a mess his mother makes Cersei Lannister look like Ma Ingalls.
Peter, to his credit, pushes back on his (very rude) mother.
Im telling you that I love Madison, and that should be enough, he says firmly.
Once again, Madison shuts it down.
This is about me and Peter, she says.
This is something just he and I should be talking about.
Hoo boy, that was wildly awkward and very uncomfortable to watch.
What a perfect time to segue to our new Bachelorette, Clare Crawley!
And honestly, Im okay with that.
Weve had enough insanity for one night.
(you could read all my thoughts about Clarehere.)
Rose lovers, that was exhausting.
How did Hannah Ann go from most annoying to most amazing contestant this season?
And will you be watchingListen to Your Heart?
As always, thanks for taking this journey with me!
