If there’s a camera nearby, you know someone is ready to strike a pose.
Plus: Two other celebrities strike out in the Boardroom
Im angry, people.
Like, Lisa Lampanelli-throw in angry.
Credit: Douglas Gorenstein/NBC
DAMN YOU, ROBBIE MYERS!
TAKE A HIKE,ELLEMAGAZINE!
To watch Robbie Myers swoop in and steal all the glory?
And who performed the interviews?
My arch nemesis Cynthia Sanz fromPeoplemagazine!
So maybe I wasnt exactly qualified or knowledgeable on the subject.
Perhaps I wouldnt really know what I was talking about.
So the hell what?
SAAAAANNNNNZZZZZZZZ!!!)
Now, here comes Ms.
Fancy Pants Robbie Myers.
Not only does she get to appear on the best television show in the history of television.
Not only does she get to judge a task.
But she gets to hang out with the ultimate pimp daddy Farouk Shami!
This is the biggest travesty of all.
Farouk and I would have totally hit it off.
NEXT: Aubrey has a big admirer…other than herself
1.
The first was for them to create a four-page spread for the Chi Touch hair dryer from Farouk Systems.
The second task was for Farouk Shami to win Aubrey ODays hand in marriage.
He could see the way the Palestinian-born business mogul was ogling the Playboy model.
Nice hair, cooed Farouk, Is that a Chi color?
Its all real, responded Aubrey, in perhaps the most blatant lie of all time.
Alllllllllllllright, panted Faruk, who may or may not have just had an orgasm right then and there.
This set the tone for the entire project.
(Arsenio didnt blame him: If she wasnt such a bitchIdbe into Aubrey.)
Or perhaps they were having a big sale there on red leather cowboy boots.
One can never know.
It was time to seal the deal on date number 3.
Did you see Farouk perk up the second Aubrey entered the room for Unanimous presentation?
Little did he realize that Aubrey was about to provide the ultimate money shot a big picture of herself!
Huh, Farouk, you like that one?
she asked while displaying herself in the Chi ad.
Im talking about sex.)
But damn it was fun to watch.
Lisa didnt care what models they got.
Once Lisa started playing hardball, Teresa was completely out of her league.
Not only does Teresa not know how to play hardball, Im not even sure she knows how tospellhardball.
Halfway through the negotiation I half-expected her to just start yelling out MONSTERS!
So naturally Teresa had to run back to Aubrey and ask what she should do.
Tell her well take the guy and the redhead and she can kiss our ass, answered Aubrey.
Teresa agreed to the deal to the chagrin of her teammates.
We got duped, man, rued Arsenio.
She got one man with almost as little hair as me.
Its a hair dyer.
She couldnt have pulled that off against Aubrey or Arsenio.
She out-negotiated Teresa plain and simple.
Teresa was out of her league, but truthfully has been out of her league all season.
You do understand that?
Teresas answer: Yeah, no, I know that.
Then why was she still on the show?
Aubrey; Be the redhead?
Teresa: Whatever you want.
No, Teresa, its whateveryouwant.
Youre the Project Manager!
Even though we fought for the redheaded model, I decided to be the model, explained Aubrey.
Do I want to be in the ad?
Next time, tell me before, responded Alice.
NEXT: Amanda enters the lions den
4.
For a woman with so much range, this seems like a travesty.
you oughta pause for the cause and do that immediately.)
Clay answered and who was on the other line?
Only the most charming and delightful voice youve ever heard in your entire life!
Mr. Trump would like you back in the Boardroom now, Amanda informed him.
Not only that, but SHE THEN WALKED THEM IN!
But a small part of me also worried whos covering the phones?!
?Adrian the elevator operator?
Well, then, whos covering the elevator?!?
The trickle-down effect on this could be enormous.
The entire Trump Organization could come tumbling down and brought to its knees.
Get back, Amanda!
And watch out for those gold scissors.
They can leave a nasty mark if not handled properly.
NEXT: Only onCelebrity Apprenticedoes Fidel Castro get a shout-out
5.
The Triumphant Return of Jack Jason!
This week, Jack was back!
Marlee mostly peppered the final four with questions about their character and their respective charities.
Exactly what kind of charitable endeavors was she talking part in with Fidel Freakin Castro?
Well, at least we do knowshe considers him a brilliant man.
John Rich, on the other hand, was a total hard-ass.
It was all a little absurd and wonderful.
The woman was even smiling when she left.
She hugged Adrian the elevator operator for crissakes!
But there is one more firing still to come.
Whom will it be?
Well have to wait until next week to find out.
But you dont have to wait to hear from the recently eliminated Lisa Lampanelli.
And for moreCelebrity Apprenticeinanity and insanity, follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
Were the right people fired?
And what exactly would a Farouk and Aubrey love child look like?
Hit the message boards to let us know.
Until next week: Cluck, Cluck…Splash!
