Shes busy covering the SXSW Festival and will return shortly.
Kim opened tonights episode with an especially guttural SWEEEEEETIEEEEE!
She expended way more energy fuming about lazy Sweetie than actually hauling her own delicates.
Credit: Quantrell Colbert/Bravo
For instance: Sweetie!
It does not take 45 minutes to get to the Master to drop off the jewelry box.
Or something Papa Zolciak said: Thats your girl, not mine.
Later, Kim confessed her doubts about Sweetie to Niki, yet another one of her employees.
Actually you might, and its called a confidentiality agreement.
Next we moved on, blessedly, to Phaedra on her first day of embalming class.
Apparently youre required to embalm at least 10 bodies before you might call yourself a mortician.
Seriously, Bravo hit the jackpot with this woman.
Her kindly embalming tutor started her off with a rubber dummy.
She should try practicing on Kim something tells me her face is a little stiff, too.
As batshit as Phaedras interest in death might seem, I do believe its genuine.
Dying is as much a part of life as being born, she wisely noted.
The paradox just blew my mind.
Earlier, Bryson got arrested for having marijuana in his pocketswhile visiting a friend in jail.
Nene was pretty much done with him, and Greg got him to think of his future goals.
After all the drama, Mal still wanted to ride to the party with Cynthia and Peter.
Was Mal sniffing out drama or did she just want to be with her sister?
It didnt matter anyway, because the limo never arrived.
Peter, Cynthia, her hair, and her drawling gay BFF Kithe all piled into a sensible car.
Which brings us to the most pressing question of the night: What was up with Cynthias hair?
She looked like Queen Amidala of the Naboo or Gary Oldman fromDracula.
Kandi referred to it as a bun at one point, but it was more like a yeast explosion.
The bun was slightly scooped, so a ferret-sized animal could curl up comfortably on it.
Whatever you want to call it, it was not a good look.
NEXT: This one-year anniversary blowout is a weird attempt to make a milestone out of very little.
What do you even call a one-year anniversary?
Its definitely not platinum or gold.
Marlo arrived with a distinguished-looking elder gentleman who reminded me a bit of Henry Francis fromMad Men.
Apparently in the week since returning from Africa shed dumped Charles for someone quite different.
She and Nene bonded over the joys of white men.
White is right, declared Nene.
Ugh, another line that sounds bad in the wrong context.
Actually that sounds wrong in every context.
God, this woman may have some serious personality disorders.
c’mon show her the door.
Schemers Mal and Mama Barbara showed up to the party to once again badmouth Peter to Cynthia.
Yes, you are.
At the same time, Cynthia is being unfair to Peter too.
Does anyone get the feeling she already assumes their relationship is doomed?
Sometimes we stay in things too long even if we know its not right.
THEN PETER WALKED INTO THE FRAME AT THAT VERY MOMENT!
The irony slayed me.
Cynthia seriously needs to grow a backbone for herself and the people shes pitting against each other.
Peters toast was clearly more a dig at Malorie than a celebration of his marriage.
He said, Excuse me, could everyone but Malorie come outside?
And a toast to friends and family… and Malorie.
I might be on Team Mal on this one.
Is Mal being meddling, or is Peter being an ahole?
Is Cynthia to blame for the whole mess?
Was Sheree right in bringing up the F-word incident?
How will Marlo explain her way out of this one?
Would you let Phaedra embalm you?
