Theyve devolved into pre-agrarian hunter-gatherers.
They have no hobbies, unless you count Amateur Beard-Growing and Competitive Zombie Eye-Gouging as hobbies.
But theydidfind some totally sweet silencers.
Credit: Gene Page/AMC
So they got that going for them, which is nice.
They cleared out a walker-infested household with raw, military precision.
In the process, the show also essentially announced that it has reached the end of its Awkward Adolescence.
The characters are no longer debating the meaning of life in a dead world.
Theyre just trying to stay alive.
Then Daryl stood over the owls corpse and yelled, Thats how many licks, bitch!
There was a nice moment of peace, with all the characters sitting quietly in the living room.
The moment didnt last.
Walkers emerged from the forest.
Its like we spent the winter going in circles, said Rick.
The gang needed a new purpose; the show needed a new purpose.
And they accidentally discovered a sanctuary.
The Prison was one of the key configs in theWalking Deadcomic book.
Rick led a strike team of melee professionals on the ground.
Daryl Motherfing Dixon took out a raft of walkers with his crossbow.
Carol Carol, peopleCarol!
has become an ace shootist, and took up position in the sniper perch.
Two of the most adrenalized action sequences the show has ever had and the episode wasnt even half over.
The characters took a moment to rest.
They built a campfire.
They played Never Have I Ever.
T-Dogg started making plans to dig a well.
Hershel noted that the soil would be good for tomatoes, cucumbers, and soybeans.
Carol gave Daryl a back massage and asked, Wanna screw around?
But Rick wouldnt let them rest on their laurels.
This was a great win, he said.
But we gotta push, just a little bit more.
Unfortunately, that doesnt leave much time for dealing with the womenfolk.
A very pregnant Lori begged Rick to talk to her to sayanything.
You wanna talk, go talk to Hershel, said Rick.
I would imagine applications to fencing teams nationwide just skyrocketed.
Back at the prison, Rick led the Melee Squadron into the exterior of the prison.
It was him, T-Dogg, Daryl, Glenn, and Maggie.
The zombies werent too much trouble until a few walkers in riot gear appeared from around the corner.
Maggie almost got bitten, but she managed to stab through to the guys exposed neck.
They pushed into the prison and spent the night in a cellblock.
I have no idea how to feel about the Carl-Beth flirtation.
Apparently, Carl is supposed to be 13 and Beth is supposed to be 17.
Lets call them Tweedledee and Tweedledeath.
Andrea has fallen ill, and Michonne is getting worried.
They need to keep moving.
(Pause to imagine all the wacky adventures Andrea and Michonne had during the cold months.
Ah, friendship!)
Back at the prison, Lori was freaking out.
But it wasnt a normal freak-out: It was about The Baby.
She has a very legitimate concern.
My son cant stand me, she said.
Have they invented test tubes yet?
Instead, theyre doubling down on her main story arc Pregnancy-as-Metaphor.
(ASIDE:Lori is a leading member of the curious sorority of AMC wives.
Morning came, and with hit, more zombie killing.
Rick took the Melee Squad into the shadows of the prison.
Predictably, everything went to hell.
Zombies to the right of them, zombies to the left of them, zombies in front of them.
They carried Hershel into a cafeteria.
He left the knee behind because thats what friends do.
Hershel screamed and passed out and woke up and said, Hey guys, whats happenWHERES MY FING LEG!
and then he passed out again.
At that point, bodies emerged from the shadows.
Daryl Motherfing Dixon went forward, holding his trusty crossbow Daryl Junior at the ready.
Twist: The people in the shadows werent walkers!
One guy talked, saying what we were all thinking: Ho.
S.
Andthat, fellow viewers, is how you do a freaking season premiere.
It will be interesting to see how the season goes from here.
What did you think of the episode,Deadfans?
Who was your favorite Zombie Exterminator?
Who would you nominate as Most Improved Character?
(Id go with Beth, mostly because I actually remember her name now.)
HappyWalking Deadday, America!
